The Gripes of A Restaurant Employee

Done With Restaurants

2007-06-04T11:45:00.000-04:00

Two days ago was my last day at my latest restaurant job. After getting fired from GD, and getting hired at another restaurant where I have worked with one of the managers before, I promised myself that this was going to my last restaurant. I put two years of my life into GD and they fired me for something as silly as missing a meeting, I wasn't going to put a whole lot of time and energy into another job that had the potential to do the same thing to me.

I like to compare working in a restaurant to being in an abusive relationship (either friendship or romantic). It has far more bad moments than good, though the good prove slightly that might be worth hanging onto, you don't leave because it's easier to stay, it's more comfortable than the unknown and less scary, you stay in it so long it is all you know anymore, you don't think you could get a better alternative if you tried, makes you feel guilty about leaving, but once you do break free, it's the best feeling in the world!

I knew that my most recent restaurant was going to be my last. I was tired of dealing with customers and employee drama long into my job at GD, so I knew I wasn't going to be very happy at this restaurant. But it was so easy to get hired at another restaurant. Restaurants will hire anyone and everyone, especially if they have lots of other restaurant experience. It's quick and easy cash, relatively, so why work hard to try and get a job where there is a chance they might not hire you when you basically have a guaranteed job that you already know how to do.

For me, restaurants are my comfort zone. I know how to do those jobs already, I don't really need to learn anything new, it's easy and convenient, and it's an evil I'm completely familiar with. Most people would rather have a known evil to an unknown one, and I'm no exception (to a certain point). Since this blog has been about working in restaurant, and as I am no longer a restaurant employee (it took five years, but I'm finally out), I conclude my blog with this final entry. But, when one door closes, another opens. I have started a new blog about summer camp and life after restaurants.

http://aintgonnarain.blogspot.com

Good night, and good luck. :)

"How to Break Into The Film Business"

2007-04-29T21:04:00.000-04:00

I, along with my entire Advanced Film Production class, was assigned to write a three page paper on how I, personally, was going to "break into" the film industry. After a series of guest speakers, who all said the same thing, I became disheartened at the idea of this paper. Most of the speakers touched briefly on the subject and what they did say was the same as the speaker before them. I could say how I was going to do it in a paragraph, maybe two if I really tried. I toyed with the idea of writing a whole paper on how I was going to "work the couch" all the way to the top (and idea that one of my friends also toyed with and said she wasn't actually going to use). But I didn't need my paper to be taken too seriously for it's own good if I did that.

Then Dan gave me the perfect idea! He jokingly said that I should take out the CEO of a film company and break into it that way. *Light Bulb Above Head* Not only did I use his CEO idea, I ran with it and took it over the top. Enjoy! :)

How To Break Into The Business

In this essay I will discuss one of the little known methods of getting into the film business: assassination. To become a good assassin, you need lots of special training, not to mention the willpower to take out the selected target. You will also need to be stealthy so you are not caught, because you cannot run a business or corporation from prison unless you are a drug-lord or the head of a gang.

The first thing you need to do is go to a reputable ninja school. There they will teach you the skills necessary to be a good assassin, or a secret agent at the very least if you get C’s in all of your classes. Be sure and pay attention in stealth and weapons classes, you will need all the information they can teach you later. Next, be sure that you buy lots of black clothing and start wearing it right away. Wearing all of your new black outfits everyday will get you used to the range and mobility that they will give you and black makes almost everyone look super cool.

You should also become a member of the National Evil Flying Monkey Association (or the NEFMA) and start accumulating a variety of evil flying monkeys. This way, going and practicing at the target range with your new evil flying monkeys every weekend will not be considered suspicious. Also, if possible, report a few of your evil flying monkeys as stolen to the police. By doing this, if one of your evil flying monkeys happens to turn up later after a practice run has gone bad, it cannot be attributed to you because you listed that particular evil flying monkey as stolen.

If you have a lot of friends who are Vikings or pirates, get them to help you out with your heist as well. Since both parties are loud and usually clumsy, you can use them for diversions once you get to the film studio of your choice. Vikings are great for making diversions due to their pillaging nature as depicted in the Capital One commercials on television. Their notoriety because of these commercials will aid in their reign of terror once they begin pillaging the studio lot. Pirates are wonderful to have around as well because they can work as a team to capture a building or vehicle. This is especially useful when overtaking the security booth at the front gate of the film studio.

The security booth is the first step in capturing an entire film studio. While the pirates are keeping the security guards busy at the front of the studio, you can send the Vikings in through the back. Once inside the walls, they can overcome any guards who are not busy fighting pirates. Individual Vikings have a tendency to pillage better on their own than with a whole tea. Spread your Vikings out in a fan patter while they are outdoors and send them into buildings one-by-one to achieve the most possible damage.

Once the guards have been sufficiently distracted or captured, you, as a ninja, can begin infiltrating the various buildings on the studio lot in search of the CEO. While you are searching, have any pirates or Vikings who are not busy put potatoes in as many exhaust pipes that they can to create further disarray and confusion. In fat, it would be a good idea if you had a special team just for putting potatoes in exhaust pipes, like a group of computer nerds who wouldn’t be out of places on a film studio lot.

As soon as you find the CEO’s office, release a small puppy, or other adorable animal, in the hallway. Wait for the noise of the puppy to carry into the office and grab the CEO’s attention. The cuteness factor of the puppy will determine how close the CEO will get to it. As a ninja, you have, of course, hidden yourself either on the ceiling above the office door or behind a large ficus. The puppy has also had special ninja training and will lead the CEO right to you while still appearing adorable.

From there, you have two options. You can immediately eliminate the CEO and attempt to take over the studio from there. However, this method is more dangerous and much trickier because everyone at the studio will think “Whoa, who is this guy?!” and probably have a now-battered security guard throw you out. The other option is to inject the CEO with a mind control serum. This way, you can make him hand the company over to you publicly and without any question. The latter method would be better in the long run as you wouldn’t have to go through as much legal red tape and could start green-lighting your movies almost right away.

While the above method for “breaking into the business” may sound good, it is not how I plan on getting a job in the film or video field. I plan on building my resume by helping out with as many student projects as I can, sending out that resume and following up with everyone that I send it to. I will be persistent without being annoying and I will not take a “no” personally and move on to the next potential employer. I will be polite and personable and I will not be discouraged if I have a “dry spell” that lasts for months. My creativity is one of my strongest attributes and I am not afraid to use it as has been shown in this essay. I have every confidence that I will be able to get a job and make a career in the film and video field.

Not At GD Anymore, Still in The Drama...

2007-03-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was my 21st birthday. Dan and I had made plans to go to GD Friday (today) because one of the managers is a friend of ours and he said he'd make me a Flaming Bob Marley for me after I turned 21. I was also planning on trying one or two other drinks while we were there for fun and my buddy G said that he'd buy me one of the drinks he likes so he was going to meet us up there.

It's been exactly three weeks today since I was told that I was fired. I've been up once or twice to say hi and visit with the people that I miss. But today was going to be fun because I was 21 and I could have a few drinks, not to mention I was going to hang out with two of my coolest friends while having drinks at a place that I still like to hang out in. Even though they fired me, they still have food that I like, they still have employees that I like, and it's still a cool atmosphere to hang out in, I have no hard feelings towards GD as a restaurant at all. I've been looking forward to tonight for several weeks now. I'd even requested not to work from my current job so I could "go out" tonight.

We've been sitting at our nice little table in the corner for a little while now, when the manager comes over to talk to us (not the first or last time tonight) and mentions that "what's her face up that the door" (K from my last entry) was really pissed at me for something I had put on myspace. He was paraphrasing what she had said (or what he had heard she said) and she claimed that I was saying how she was sleeping with the managers and all this other B.S. We laughed about it and I said that I never said her name, and while I didn't recall my exact wording (it was weeks ago that I had written my previous entry and I'm not in the habit of reading over my stuff again very often), I was pretty sure I never said she slept with anybody. I may have hinted that or indicated it but I never came straight out and said it and I never said her name either.

A little while later (after our cheese fries had come out but before my alcohol), K came over to our table. She said that she had heard about something on my myspace (she's not my friend that's for sure) and said that she had heard that I said she was sleeping with the managers, I was blaming her for getting me fired, she was catching a lot of crap from a lot of people who still work there, and she didn't appreciate my blog at all. 0.0 Excuse me? She goes up to a table and tells PAYING CUSTOMERS that she doesn't appriciate somethign that she's a) never seen herself and b) something that's on somebody's personal page where they're free to put WHATEVER they want? Oh, no, no, no, no. I told her that I had posted a blog about why I wasn't at GD anymore (at which point she interrupted me about not being the reason I got fired) and that I had said I wasn't willing to flirt with the managers to keep my job. At which point she said something else to the effect of what she had said before and left. She didn't really want to hear what I had to say, she just wanted to yell at me and make it clear that she knew about what I had posted and she wanted me to know she was mad.

Well guess what lady?

Not only am I not taking that entry off my page, I'm posting another one. She left before I had a chance to say anything about how I can post whatever I want on MY pages because of something called The Constitution, more specifically, The First Amendment. Secondly, nowhere in my entry did I say that she slept with any of the managers, just that she flirted with them and that she was their little pet and could do whatever she wanted (I know this because I went back and read it just to be sure). Everything that gets said at GD is usually inflated and blown out of proportion, especially when you're not hearing it from the main source. She never actually read my entry herself, she only heard about it because she was catching crap from a lot of people there because of it. She thought that she KNEW what I had said when in reality she was just repeating what had probably gone through several people and been pumped up a little bit along the way. She had no idea what my entry really said and was speaking to me like I had no business saying what had happened that Friday night (and believe me I left A LOT of stuff out) and my side of the story.

She spoke to me like a child, like she did on Friday night, and she didn't want to stick around to hear what I had to say. She was very lucky that Dan didn't lose his temper and let her know what HE thought of her coming over to our table and interrupting our meal. He knew better than to say what he was thinking to her face and the next time the manager stopped by our table, we asked about making a formal complaint. The manager said honestly, just e-mail corporate that way The Beaver's boss will see it too, and that is just what Dan is going to do once I get off his computer, and believe me, I will be posting it for everyone to see.

The only reason I was able to enjoy the rest of our time at GD was because I was having fun with Dan and G and everybody else that stopped by our table to say hi, and the few drinks I did have didn't hurt anything either ;) (I had a Flaming Bob Marley, Stoli Vanilla and Coke, and a Washington Apple, the last one was my favorite followed by the Vanilla and Coke). I was also able to enjoy the rest of our time there because I knew that Dan was going to be writing up a letter to corporate very shortly and that I would have access to a computer and would be able to post how she didn't like my last post. Seriously, if you have a problem with something somebody else posts in a weblog, you need a life, especially if you supposedly know what they're saying isn't true...

Maybe that's why she had a problem with what she thought I put in my blog...

*NEW! LETTER TO CORPORATE*

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to you today because of an incident that happened in your Pasadena branch restaurant on Friday, March 9th. I was taking my fiancée out to dinner to celebrate her birthday. She used to work for your company so all of the servers that were there stopped by and said hello and happy birthday and were really friendly like we have come to expect of GD. Shortly before her termination, my fiancée had a disagreement with another employee. The employee’s name is K and she also stopped by our table but she was very rude and nasty to my fiancée, continuing to carry out this personal disagreement.

Management, before my fiancée’s termination, handled the original disagreement and the reason K came over to our table Friday night was for a blog entry that my fiancée had written to let her friends know why she was not working at your Pasadena location anymore. K had heard about it through second and third parties, she never actually read it for herself and took gossip for gospel. She claimed that my fiancée wrote that she was sleeping with managers and blamed her for being terminated, neither of which is true. She also wanted my fiancée to take it down, even thought she has never read it herself and does know what is actually in it. She never asked to see it, she didn’t calmly ask my fiancée what was in it, she just spouted off how she felt about it and walked away before my fiancée had a chance to explain anything other than “I never said you slept with managers.” My fiancée’s blogs never mention anyone by name, except her and myself, and the entry about the disagreement was no exception. K would have known that if she had actually read the blog.

I spoke with the manager there that night and he said he would see what he could do. He also said that if we were really unhappy we should send a letter to the main corporate office. After some one is no longer a co-worker and is just another guest trying to enjoy their meal, causing a scene in the middle of the restaurant on a busy Friday night is extremely unprofessional. She had no business being at our table, she wasn’t our server, she wasn’t even one of the hostesses that took care of us on the waitlist, and she made it very unpleasant to stay and enjoy our meal. But the manager and the other servers who knew my fiancée apologized for K’s behavior and went out of their way to make the rest of our night enjoyable.

My fiancée and I have been regular guests of the Pasadena GD for years, even before she started working there, because we like the food, the people, and the atmosphere. I don’t want to be forced to call and find out if K is working so we can go to another restaurant (one that we don’t like as much) just to avoid a verbal harassment, but I will if I have to. It would have been one thing if K was professional while she was on the clock and addressed her concern with my fiancée another time, but she did it while she was working and while we were guests and that is unacceptable to me.

Thank you for your time.
Dan Gibson

Office Politics...

2007-02-26T01:42:00.001-05:00

Okay, here’s the story. There’s this server, K, who used to work at another GD a while back. She was a hostess there for two years (and then I think she became I server, but I’m not totally sure), but she’s at Glen Burnie now. She’s been there a couple of months now and been working on flirting the managers. Since she started there, she’s tried to improve the servers sidework and stuff but it didn’t work because she is, after all, another server like everybody else. Since she can’t change how the servers run, she moved on to the hostesses. Yeah. She was heard to say, from several reputable sources, “I’m going to come in on my day off to show the hostesses how to do their job.” Or some equally insulting sort of comment. And because she’s now manager’s pet, she is basically allowed to do and say whatever she wants.

The Friday that I went on retreat was her first shift as Bossy Hostess. I got a text message from M that night telling me that she’s horrible and doesn’t know what she’s doing. The following Friday, I’m on the schedule. Before the shift (I worked a volume and she came in a few minutes before 5 while I was on my dinner break), she tried telling me what it was she wanted to do, and I had reason not to do it for everything she said. I kept tripping her up and asking questions, “What about this?” and “Okay, well what about that?” and eventually she didn’t even know what she was saying anymore! She finally just kept saying, “Well, we’ll talk about it at the meeting.” There was a “Mandatory Hostess Meeting” scheduled for the following Sunday in handwriting that didn’t really match any of the managers. Surprising, huh?

So originally K tells me that she’s going to just hang back that night and watch and she doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. Yeah. Right. She didn’t hang back at all (otherwise I might still be working). Even though I was “running” the wait list, she was running around checking on tables and counting how many people had menus still and how many tickets were in the window in the kitchen ready to go and telling us how many tables to seat and when to seat them and where to go. We were basically her puppets. We were only there to cater to her ever command. And I do mean “command”. If we even breathed in a way that she didn’t like or before she told us we could, she would be in our faces about it asking why we did that. If we sat a table before she gave us permission, she would come up and rudely ask, “Why did you seat them?” or whatever.

What she was doing that night was not hosting. She didn’t greet any of the guests the way we’re suppose to (or at all for that matter), she didn’t check the bathrooms like she wanted us to do, she didn’t sweep the floor like she mentioned we had to do every hour (yeah right), she didn’t even seat tables when she said to seat the next name on the wait list! If she said to seat a table and I handed her menus, she’d either pass them off to the next hostess or tell me to wait until M or the other hostess got back and have them seat the table. All she was doing was checking menus and tickets. She never explained what she was doing or why she was doing it, she just did. She was suppose to be training us when all she was doing was bossing us around. With the way she was doing it, it was no good because the whole point was for the other hostesses to learn what she was doing so they could do it on nights she’s not hosting. If the other hostesses have no idea what she’s doing or how she’s doing it, how are they suppose to do it when she’s not there?

So the whole night, we’re all giving her attitude, me most of all because I’m the one who’s dealing with her the most (i.e. she’s the one bossing me around the most). She hates that I was giving her attitude. Apparently (I wasn’t conscious of this but I’m glad I was doing it), I was interrupting her a lot, almost every time she said something I would interrupt with a counter-point or I would get defensive. That’s what she said. She interrupted me to say, “Excuse me! Every time I try to say something you interrupt me!”. Haha, talk about hypocritical…At one point, The Beaver (our GM) comes up front to talk to all four of us. Apparently, K had been running back to the managers telling on me every time I did or said something she didn’t like. She’d go back there and whine that I wasn’t listening to her (which would be a lie because I did everything she told me to, I just didn’t do it happily). The phone rang so I answered it. When I got off, all I heard was Beaver telling the three of them that I was running the board and I was in charge, and K’s face was the whitest and unhappier of the three of them (because the other two wanted me to be in charge, not Bossy K) and then he went back into the kitchen. I don’t know what he said before that because I was concentrating on the phone call.

Eventually, M can’t take it anymore and mumbles a name under her breath. It wasn’t directed towards K, but it was definitely meant for her, and somehow, K got wind of it. Either she heard it herself or one of the servers that’s friends with her (one of a few) heard it and told K. K of course told Beaver. Beaver took M back towards Carry-Out to talk to her and then send her home. That leaves me and the other hostess alone with K. Fantastic. The night just gets worse and worse by the minute. K and I are really going at it by this point. I had started writing a note to Beaver telling him that if he didn’t tell K to let me run the board, I was walking out. I was about to have the other hostess give it to him (he was cooking and I wasn’t leaving the front) when things finally boil over. K says something to me about how we have to pace the kitchen (make sure they don’t get too many orders at once).
“I know how to pace the kitchen.” I snap.
“Well then I may as well go home then.” She says.
Just then, another manager, D, (also one she flirts with and complains to) comes up.
“She knows how to pace the kitchen.” She says to the manager, who rolls his eyes.
“I’m going to settle this once and for all.” He says and tells me to come back into the kitchen with him.

He tries to tell me how what we’ve been doing isn’t working (I disagree, plus if they think it’s not working they need to let me train the hostesses, not have the new girls training new girls) and K has this new way of doing things that worked at her restaurant and worked last week, so we’re going to try it. First of all, even if it worked for the kitchen last week, it didn’t work for everybody else. K triple and quadruple seats people whenever she wants and she had guests cussing about her and her methods too! Thank God B (a cool manager) came back at that point and was there for, if anything else, moral support for me. He’s on my side and hates K. I told D that I wasn’t opposed to trying something new, but don’t tell me I’m in charge and then have K walk all over me and tell me when and when not to breathe. I also told them about how K wants to quote people when we’re on a wait. She doesn’t want to give them a time in minutes, she wants to tell them how many people are ahead of them and how many open/dirty tables there are. Want to know why? Because she doesn’t want to give them a quote and be wrong. Easy, it’s called: OVER QUOTE. Not by a lot, but give yourself an extra ten minutes or so to cover your butt. No biggie. People are happy to sit sooner than you tell them. B even agreed with me on that (not to mention that the wait quote covers two questions on the secret shopper list, that’s two she’s missed plus she never did get the door all night so that’s two more right there. She’s already almost failed the shop for the host section!).

B said he’d go talk to K about being bossy (not the wording but you know what I mean). The rest of the night K ran the board and did away with the menu counts (which is basically what I do all night anyway without her…grr…oh well) and I shut my mouth and did exactly what she told me to the letter until I finally got cut. I decided way earlier in the shift that I wasn’t going to the meeting. I’d rather not say anything if I couldn’t say something nice. She had also asked me back before her shift started (when I was tripping her up) not to “say anything” at the meeting. She didn’t want me arguing with her in front of the other hostesses. Oh well, too bad. If I’m going to the meeting, I’m going to give you my opinions as a hostess (and a damn good one at that) and if you’re going to ask me to relinquish my first amendment rights, then I’m going to make a statement by not going period. I told M I wasn’t going and I told the hostesses I worked with the following night (Saturday) that I wasn’t going and why and it was up to them if they wanted to go too. But, before the night was over (Saturday) I showed them K’s method and we even used it for a little while until the managers came up and said to just seat all the open tables don’t worry about the kitchen. So even though I disagreed with K and her “new” methods (they actually weren’t knew, another manager showed them to me back in the day), I still showed the hostesses and explained how to do them, which was more than K could say.

I don’t have to work again until the following Friday, so almost a week later because of my school schedule and some days I had requested off. Thursday, I get a myspace message from one of the servers saying how it was too bad they fired me and how much of a bitch K is. 0.0 Fired? Since when? Not too long after that (and after I had sent a message back saying, “What? Did they fire me without bothering to tell me?”), M called me to tell me that she had called to find out her schedule and the manager she talked to (another awesome manager) said that the hostesses that didn’t show up to the meeting were suspended until further notice. Nobody really knows what’s going on, not even B (who got transferred to Bowie, permanently I think and awfully convenient considering the current office politics) and he knows everything, so I go up Friday after school (but way before my shift was suppose to start). And there, right inside the doorway, is Beaver. He confirms the rumor that I was fired and says that nobody was suspended, everyone who didn’t go was fired. Five hostesses in all were fired, only three actually showed up to the meeting. I stayed calm (no crying or yelling for me, yay!) and told him why I didn’t go to the meeting. He told me that it wasn’t professional or the best way to deal with that, maybe if I had come to the meeting we could have “worked it out” (yeah right). He got me my tips and my paycheck and I was out of there.

The rest of that day I spent filling out online applications and putting my resume up online at Dan’s house. Around 9 or so, I remember that I just about have a guaranteed job with a former boss, no matter what. So I fill out an online application for Applebee’s. There’s not much to it, not even a job history really (just like where did you work and who was your manager), just your availability and stuff like that. After I got home, my dad told me Applebee’s had called around 9:30! I tell my mom the whole story before I give the nut-shell version to my dad as an explanation for Applebee’s calling. Saturday, I go up to Applebee’s to fill out the full application and take a questionnaire. The manager (not my former boss, but nice just the same) who gave me the test told me that she would call later after she was interviewing me. I didn’t get anything back from her (I did have a voice mail at one point that wasn’t anything, so that could have been her), and I waited until Tuesday (you’re suppose to give them a couple of days, Internship class said so). My mom and grandmother were going up that way to get something at The Italian Market and my mom asked if I wanted to come and stop in at Applebee’s to follow up in person (which always looks better). I did.

My former boss met me at the door and asked if I could come back later for orientation. I had the job, no "ifs", "ands", or "buts" about it. I've been there ever since, almost a week later, and can already tell that it's going to be a much better situation than GD, even if it is farther away and I don't know anybody really yet, at least as far as management goes. Yay.

Little Things

2006-12-23T15:15:00.001-05:00

It really is the little things that can get to you most. There hasn’t been any real drama at work lately, but lots of little things that are getting on my nerves. It’s standard stuff, I ignore it but it still bugs me just a little bit.

People who can’t decide if they want to sit in smoking or non-smoking and just stand there, ignoring me completely (until they want a seat in non-smoking that is), and talking amongst themselves.

People who say “We don’t care” when I ask “Smoking or Non?” or “Table or booth”. Worse is when they say that to both questions. I prefer to hear it for “table or booth” because that makes my decision of where in non-smoking to seat them a little easier. But sometimes when I hear it for “smoking or non” and then ask them (like I’m required to) if they would like a table or a booth, they get a little agitated that I didn’t read their minds and just assume they didn’t care about that either. The reason I don’t like hearing “we don’t care” for “smoking or non” is because smoking is in the bar and it’s all self-seating/first-come-first-serve. The hostesses have absolutely nothing to do with the bar at all. So even after I explain that the bar is smoking and self-seating and non-smoking is the dinning room and the hostesses will seat them, and people still say “we don’t care”, I feel like handing them menus and saying “Okay, bar’s over there sit where you want, enjoy your meal.” But I don’t, like the good little hostess that I am, I take them to a booth in non-smoking (or a table if I’m feeling slightly mean).

When people are actually able to make a decision and decide to sit in the bar, I ask them if they would like menus (some do, some don’t, depends on if they’re just drinking) they say “yes” and then turn and walk away before taking the menus from my outstretched hand! Puh-lease! I’m not chasing you into the bar just to hand you menus, it’s all self-seating, I couldn’t care less about the seating in the bar. You either take the menus from me or you can wait until your server gets to your table and sees that you don’t have menus. Thankfully, most of the servers completely understand why I don’t always give the customers menus and agree that if they ignore me or walk away, I shouldn’t have to follow them because that was rude.

The bathroom is a constant source of annoyance. I used to wonder why I would find paper towels on the floor on the complete other side of the bathroom from the dispenser (because the trash can is right under the dispenser, about as convenient as you can get) and then I watched this one lady. Whenever possible, she avoided touching anything in the bathroom with her hand directly. I know she used a toilet seat liner that are provided in every stall, but I know she didn’t touch it after she used it (because I had to knock it into the toilet to flush it after she left). She used her elbow like a doctor to wash her hands and get soap. When she left the bathroom, she pulled her long sleeve up over her hand to pull the door open so she wouldn’t have to actually touch the handle. That has got to be why I find paper towels on the floor every once in a while, someone used it to pull the door open then dropped it on the floor after they were done with it.

I also find little pieces of toilet paper on the floor constantly under the dispensers in the stalls. How hard is it when you accidently pull off a tiny piece to just throw it in the toilet? Is it really harder than just dropping it on the floor for someone else to pick up? I don’t mind picking them up, because I know they’re not dirty or anything like that, I just don’t like having to put my face that close to the toilet. I especially don’t mind picking them up if another guest is present and can watch me clean the bathroom so they know a) there’s not someone special just to clean the bathroom, it’s the hostesses job (and we touch the same menus that you touch, clean hands or not ^_-) and b) it’s a good little bathroom conversation point. I can talk about how it’s not that bad because I’ve had to clean up worse and some people think that because they’re not in their house they don’t have to keep it clean or worse, I’d hate to see their house. I’ve even gotten compliments in the bathroom about how good a job I was doing keeping it clean because the customer had seen it in worse shape!

Trivia Guys’ (Hopefully) Last Night

2006-09-22T13:57:00.000-04:00

Oh, where to begin, so many *wonderful* things happened tonight! I’ll start by mentioning that last week, we were graced with the presence of the nicer and much less obnoxious trivia guy. We begged him to keep doing trivia with us and not let G come back. None of us like G at all, he’s full of himself, obnoxious, and he thinks that the people playing his little trivia ge are the only people in the restaurant worth being nice to. Which leads me to why I’m writing tonight!

Started off normally enough, as most drama-packed shifts do. There was a college football ge or something on, so G had to do his little ge from the dinning room instead of the bar *where he would normally be and has been for the past year, except when there’s football games on*. No biggie, he’s been doing it this way for the past couple of weeks, what with the start of the NFL and all (National Football League, American football for you Brits out there) and we are a sports bar that’s why people love eating with us.

First thing we hear from some of the guests is, “we need a table, we can’t play trivia in the bar”. Okaaay, this is news to us. We sit them, and then I go back to go find out what the deal with that is. Apparently, G decided tonight that you can’t play trivia in the bar if he’s in the dinning room. “G said” was what the manager told me. Oh grow a spine please! We hire HIM to come in to do this, just because he’s the owner of the little trivia company does not mean that he’s in charge of the whole freakin’ restaurant!

G was in the dinning room again because there was a collage game or something on, and they didn't want him in the bar. Either that or they wanted to see if he'd tick off more customers so they could pull the plug. So he's in his usual booth all the way in the corner, which we'd kept open since around 7 to make sure that it'd be empty when he got there because if we don't have a place for him ready when he arrives he throws a hissy fit. But we did seat the other big table next to his and the one caddy-corner to his. At one of those, we sat a K (who works at GD) and her kids.The other table we sat with a party of four, nice family, who knows K.

G was kind of rude to K, telling her it was about to get very loud in here in the next five minutes or something like that, but she didn't really think anything else of it, she knew the guy was a d***. Then he went to the other table and I guess he told them the same thing. The family tried to explain that they didn't know it was trivia night and they would have asked for somewhere else to sit if they had known. He didn't want to hear any of it and didn't let them finish when he said, “Well you can just leave then, there's an exit there and there.”

Yeah.

The dad took the kids out so he wouldn't lose his cool and the mom went over to carry out to ask the girl over there if she could tell their server they wanted their food to go because they had been made to feel like THEY were inconveniencing HIM because they were sitting there (where we had put them)
and get this, the dad is the pastor of K! If G doesn't get struck by lightning...Oh, and it was their little boy's birthday too! They went out to celebrate his birthday, and ended up taking their food home and eating it there when they should have had a nice night at Glory Days. Not everybody (the employees) knew exactly what G had said to that table, just that he talked to them and then they wanted to leave. Their server apologized profusely, the kitchen manager went out and apologized, and even one of our bartenders/managers who was on his way home went over and apologized! After the bartender/manager apologized, he came over to use our phone to call a cab, so we asked him what G said. (“Then you can leave”)

So on K's way out with her kids, I asked if G had been rude to her, she said kinda but didn't think anything of it, then I told her what G had told the other table and she was shocked and steamed! I told her that the other table had gotten our web site and was going to e-mail corporate, and K said that she'd make sure the pastor's wife sent the e-mail and she'd send one too! Then J, who had also taken care of K as well as the pastor's family, came out to say goodbye and I asked if she knew what G had said to the table, she didn't, so I told her. She blew her lid.

A little while later, she went over and let G have it! She didn't cuss him out or anything, not on the floor, but she said that more people come to GD to eat than play his stupid trivia game, those were her tables and her tips and her tips suffered because he went over there to talk to them. She told him that he had no right to talk to her tables, that was money out of her pocket not his, “but then I guess it doesn't matter does it”.

She let him have it for like five minutes and then went to the kitchen, he followed her. The other hostess and I followed him, we weren't gonna miss that! Especially if J hit him like she was very likely to do. G tried to get in J's face back there in front of String Bean, but J would have none of that (she’s one server you don’t really don’t want to mess with ever). She said she'd knock that “mother f*****'s teeth out again” (G as it turns out has either false teeth, his four front ones, or caps or something because they fell out one night a few weeks ago and he didn’t finish Trivia) and went to turn to leave when he yelled, “Go ahead!”. He must have either felt safe with String Bean right there, or he was going to press charges if she did hit him (which is more likely, I don’t call him String Bean for nothing...).

J stopped and turned right back around and said “I will! You wanna take this out back right now?” That's when it got scary and me and the other hostess when back up front.But during the whole thing back there, like ten of us were standing around with cone cups and soda like we were all getting drinks when really we were listening!

J says she can't take anymore tables that night because she couldn't work with G right there by her tables, so she's cut and gets ready to finish with her last table and do her sidework. G goes back out and finishes trivia, but not before he stops at a couple tables to explain what happened or put his own spin on it...

Then we find out from Original J who worked there waaaaay back in the day when I first started working there and who was playing trivia with his table that G was being Smoking Nazi and not letting them go over the bar to smoke. Anybody that wanted to smoke had to stand at the partition on the bar side of it and smoke where he could see them so he knew they weren't on cell phones or talking to other guests.

Oh goodness...and there’s more...

Apparently, G has been ticking off all the wrong people when he approaches other guests. Napkin Guy, which some of you may remember but I’ll give you a quick refresher: Napkin Guy had a legit reason to be on his cell phone (mom was going into surgery and dad was keeping him updated) but G didn’t care and got in his face about it, so the guy threw a napkin at G and G flipped out. He went back into the kitchen and started yelling about how he wasn’t going back on the floor until that guy got kicked out. *Rolls eyes* what a wimp. Long story short, Napkin Guy not only did not get kicked out, turns out to be friends and neighbors with our company’s OWNER. Oops. Guess you better start being nicer to people in general, hmm?
Apparently G ticked off another friend/neighbor of the owner (I must have missed that day or something...) and that left him with one strike left before someone would make String Bean get rid of this guy. Tonight was strike three. Yay.

Fun on Trivia Night!

2006-07-16T02:54:00.000-04:00

Okay, this guy technically isn't a "coworker" because he doesn't do shifts at the restaurant. But I gotta put this out there because this guy is a piece of work. He's not a server, bartender, hostess, busser, cook, or dishwasher. He's not a manager. But, our store manager pays him to come in once a week for a few hours. "For what?" you ask. Trivia. This guy started his own little trivia game where people play in teams, he asks questions, plays music while the teams write down their answers and bring them up to him. The idea/game is actually fairly popular and has been in several bars locally. Recently however, he's pulled out of several locations because (according to my boss) "they were dicking him around". I think he just got himself kicked out because he's so obnoxious.

Anyway, last Thursday was Trivia Night again. We had something like 18 or 19 teams playing, beating the previous record at our location which was 17. There were lots of people who were playing and going to be camping for several hours. Plenty of people in the bar half of the building were playing because that's where he, G, is located with his speaker and microphone, and lots of the players are new, brand new.

There's a "no cell phone. period." rule and G is very adament about it. Anyone caught on their cell phone during times when they aren't allowed will result in their whole team forfitting the game. One of the guys used his cell phone while G was outside on his cell phone. The guest asked me to verify if G asked that he wasn't cheating on trivia, he was actually using his phone. G caught the guy and threw a fit. The guy said that his mother was in surgery and the hospital was keeping him updated.
"That's what they all say!" G practically yelled.
Now, I could believe that. Because the hospital could be in another state, thus the reason that the guest was at our bar rather than their waiting room. But G, he's a jerk.

The next thing I knew, someone asked who it was that threw something at G. Sure enough, one of our managers was out on the floor talking to the guy who'd been on the phone, along with one of the bartenders. Eventually, the manager went around to the other side of the bar, so the bar was between him and the guest (possibly so he could hear better?? dunno, not sure) and continued talking. Meanwhile G's saying things like "you don't throw anything at me" and the manger is like "G, go back to your game, I'm handling this".

Apparently, when G was getting on this guy about the cell phone and not believing his excuse or whatever, the guy threw something at G. G flipped out! He went into the back and threw a hissy fit!! "I'm not going back on the floor until that guy is thrown out!" Yeah right. The guy was apparently a regular and there was no way the bartenders were going to let a regular get thrown out because G was a jerk.

Eventually, (only a few minutes later) G goes back out front and continues the game, just like nothing happened. The bar settles down and it's back to normal for Trivia Night. One of the servers walks by and I ask her if she knew what it was that the guy had thrown at G because I hadn't seen it happen.

She rolled her eyes, looked at me, and said, "A napkin."

I always knew that G was a jerk and a baby (and he thinks he's cool btw, he's most definitely not. He's a step above going outside with shorts, black socks, and sandels, lol), but I didn't realize just how much of a puss he was until last Thursday. And believe me, that made my night.

My Rant From Customerssuck.com

2006-07-10T23:49:00.000-04:00

We have this woman who comes into our restaurant fairly often and she's blind. The ONLY reason I mention that is because it pertains to how and why she does certain things when she visits us.

She's never been rude or mean...to me. She's had problems with other employees though. I'm not sure exactly why she likes some servers over others, but I know that she has not left a tip before and asked to speak to a manager before. Normally, she comes in during the Saturday morning shift and she basically needs a babysitter (which ended up being me, but that's a story for another time). Because she would normally come on Saturday mornings during lunch and we weren't as busy as during the dinner shift, she could have someone take her to the bathroom and take her across the parking lot to another store (yes, EVERY week I had to do that...). Eventually, I got tired of having to take care of her like that every week and not get anything for it other than a "thank you" (which was fine until she started being rude to the servers). I switched to Saturday nights because there's more tips, cooler servers, and to get away from her. Not nice, but true.

A few Fridays ago, I'm working a double. Dinner time rolls around and we go on a wait. No biggie, being on a wait gives me an element of control that I wouldn't have normally and I'm more than comfortable running a waitlist. Then I see Her coming through the door with the dog and an escourt I didn't recognize. "Oh great" I mutter and pray that she doesn't need someone to walk her across the parking lot because I didn't have hostesses to spare on a Friday night.

Problem #1: She couldn't understand that we were on a wait and kept asking "You don't have a table for just one?" over and over again. I kept trying to tell her that first of all we had no tables for just one and they all seat at least four and there were no table open at all currently. No matter what I said to her, she couldn't understand that. She asked how she would know it was her turn to be sat and then didn't want a pager when I explained how it worked (it will flash, vibrate, and beep all at the same time when we page it). That's not a problem because there were no other blind ladies with dogs in the restaurant, she would be easy to find. She then kept insisting that she didn't want us to forget about her. I kept trying to assure her that we wouldn't forget about her and we were going down through the names on the list in order. Meanwhile, her escourt hasn't left yet and is watching her to see if she wants to stay. When it's clear that she's chosen to stay (and through all of this has not mentioned anything about being on a time restraint) the escourt says to call as soon as she's done eating (I guess so she can come pick her up) and then leaves. I have one of my other hostesses lead N (the blind lady) where there is a bench so she can sit while she waits.

Problem #2: After five minutes, N wanders out into the aisle (blocking other customer traffic) where another (very nice) customer imediately notices that she's blind and asks if he can be of assitence. She mumbles something to him, he comes back to me says that this woman's blind (like I can't figure that one out) and she needs help. I told him that she was already on the wait list and he shrugs and goes about his business. N starts asking my other hostess, C, if her table is ready yet. C tries to explain again about the wait list and N begins to demand "why didn't we tell her that while the cab was still here so she could have left" over and over with every explanation C gives her. That's when she starts telling C about whatever time restraints she has, not a moment before *shakes head*. N demands to speak with a manager. Manager comes out talks to her briefly, asks if there isn't a table we can get for her now (just to get her to leave him alone because he doesn't feel like dealing with her either). Her name is two from the top of the list at this point, she only has a few more minutes to go and her total wait time would be far less than the 20 minutes I orignally told her, more like 10ish. We seat her anyway, thankfully, we're a small restaurant and all the other waiting guests could hear and/or see what was going on and no one complained that she got sat sooner than they did.

Problem #3: She's been to our restaurant many times before, she's had the menu (the WHOLE menu) read to her many times before. I understand that she goes to other restaurants as well (I've even seen her other places when I've been off duty) and it would be hard to remember who has what food. She also has dietary restrictions which makes everyone else's life in addition to hers a little more interesting. The server, A, she's been given is one of my favs, absolutely nice and funny girl, she'll bend over backwards for you, so long as she knows that you're nice and worth it. A reads N the whole menu, twice. When N has questions about a certain dish, A answers knowledgably like with any other customer because other customers do ask the same/similar questions. N orders a dish with two (2) chicken breasts (important!). The dish comes out, A even cuts everything up for her so it's easier for her to eat. N accuses A of lying to her, saying that A told her 3 chicken breats not 2.

Problem #4: N gets over the chicken breats, finishes her meal, orders the cobbler for dessert. Accuses A of stealing some of her cobbler. Then accuses A of giving her child-sized portions of everything, treating her like a child, etc. N now wants to speak to the manager again. Manager comes back out and sits down across the table from her and listens to all of her rants about how bad her server was and blah blah blah. N doesn't want to leave a tip now, she gets Manager to tell her what her bill is and hands the money off to Manager and makes sure that Manager brings back her change. You would think that would be the end of it now that she's paid her bill.

Problem #5: She gets up from her table and waits out in our foyer (it's really a little box between our outer doors and our enter and exit doors) for her ride I guess. One of the other servers goes out to see if N would like help out to her car or something. N says something about not tipping her server and wanting her server to come back out and talk to her. Lol, like that was going to happen. As it happens, A had *just* gotten another table ( ) and was too busy to come out and talk.

N wasn't all bad. A's next table actually happened to ask casually if all of A's tables had been treating her right tonight. Of course A had to mention (in an abridged version of course) the whole episode with N. That nice couple happened to leave her a nice tip too. I had also just been "cut" (translates into "you can clock out and go home now") and my fiance was coming up for dinner with me when I let him know I was off. We sat in A's section and also left her a nice tip. It was the least I could do for seating such an SC in her section, I felt bad but it was the closest table we had and I thought it would get her off our backs. Oh well. A said that if it wasn't for all the employees in the back making her laugh, N would have made her cry.

The whole situation reminded me of another post before the boards went down, asking if an elderly woman was really an SC or should they have given her some slack. I said it then, I'll say it again now, it's not whether you're disabled or elderly, your race doesn't matter, it's your behavior, your attitude, and your outrageous demands that make you an SC. N has been moved from Minor Annoyance to an Offical Sucky Customer.

My faith in humanity is restored once more...for now.

2006-07-04T22:26:00.000-04:00

Today, my managers got chewed out by a guests (who happens to manage a restaurant in the inner harbor) for sitting on their butts and not helping any of the other employees (including myself and a manager in training, who's awesome by the way) who were all very busy because we were understaffed this morning. It made my night. :) Here's the story in a nutshell:

Independence Day, July 4th, rolls around and the boss decides that we're going to be open for lunch. Normally, we open at 4pm and most of the people in the area know this. Also, the 4th of July is not usually a busy holiday for most restaurants as families are getting together and it's a huge cookout day. So we figued we would be slow. We have three servers on the floor, one in the bar and two in the restaurant and one hostess working a double (yours truly), thinking this would be plenty. Well, we didn't realize that we would be the only sit-down restaurant around that was going to be open for lunch. We got fairly busy (would have been much better with more servers) and most people were perfectly understanding and nice (no SCs!) and in a good mood for the holiday.

I told my boss when I got there that since I was sacrificing an entire day with my family to come in to work (and the last time I did that I could have seen my grandfather one more time before he died) he was going to give me an hour break to go home and see my family for a little bit. Since the grandfather thing (which is true) guilted him into it, and I've been there long enough he doesn't want me to walk out (which I would have done if he had said no), he agreed. I busted my butt seating guests and bussing tables (the genious didn't get a busser to work the morning shift either...) until my break, took my break (didn't clock out though ), got back and continued to bust my butt along with the other servers and our current Manager In Training (MIT). Where was my boss and his relief, another manager, when I got back? Sitting on their butts eating lunch. I could understand my boss eating, he'd been there since before I came in, that's fine. The other one though, had only been there an hour. Several minutes later, thier plates were empty, yet they still sat and laughed and talked with the rest of us running around like chickens with our heads cut off (again, including the MIT).

The next thing I know, one of the servers T comes up and says that she just got into a fight with D and G. Apparently, she went over to their table, cleared their plates, and asked if they were finished. When they said that they were, she looked at them and said, "Good, now do you wanna get up off your asses and help us?"

They followed her into the kitchen and asked if she knew that they were managers. She asked them if they knew that there was food that needed to be run and work that needed to be done.

A little while after T told me about telling of D and G, I see G sitting at one of T's tables talking with them. He's over there for a good ten minutes or so. T comes over to me and tells me what happened after G is done with them. Apparently, when the couple at the table came in D and G were still sitting on their butts. The Guy ask T if that was a manager he saw in the striped shirt when he came in, one who just sat and stared at him without bothering to get up and help seat them. T said that yes, that was a manager. Guy asked if the other guy dressed like him was a manager too. T said, "Yes, that's our store manager". Guy tells T to send one of them out because he needed to talk to one of them. That's why G was at the table for so long. Guy was chewing him out and telling him that if it wasn't for his server, he would have never come back to our restuarant because he was so appalled at the managers sitting on their butts not doing anything while he watched EVERYONE else running around and being overworked.

So if you're out there, Guy-Who-Told-My-Manager-What's-What, thank you, from the bottom of my heart for telling him what we were all thinking but didn't want to risk our jobs to say! I hope to someday do what you have done for us by either defending an employee to a SC or some similar action and pass the good karma around! Viva Rockin' Customers like you!

Notible Customers - Part IV

2006-06-21T12:35:00.000-04:00

We Just Like The Way It Looks

I was cleaning the bathroom one day when the bartender came in with steam practically coming out of her ears. She's the best bartender around, such a sweetheart, and one of our original employees. It really takes a lot to get her riled up. She starts telling me about these two women that were sitting at the bar. They asked for a special drink, one where you have to layer the two or three different kinds of alcohol, one that the bartender has made before. Whatever the reason, her mind was somewhere else or something else, she couldn't seem to get the alcohol to layer properly. It took several tries. During the time she was attempting to layer the drinks, the two woman were talking to each other, calling their friends, and asking the people around them in the bar what was in the drink and how to do it, all while the bartender was right in front of them. She knows how to make the drink, she's done it before, and these two women, who I'm sure were not bartenders themselves, were giving her a hard time about it. Finally, she was able to layer it and the drinks were done. One of the servers that the women had been talking to asked if it tasted different layered like that. Their reply?
"No, we just like the way it looks."
They gave the bartender all that grief and made her so frustrated all because they just liked the way the drink looked? How completely ignorant is that??

I'm Just Messing With You

This guy and his son come in one day. I ask if it will be just the two of them and the guy says, "Yeah, well, it might be three. Do you have a phone so I can call my wife and see if she's coming?"
I said that we didn't.
"That's mean." He said.
I told him that we had pay phones but they didn't work.
"That's really mean." He said.
Then he stormed off to the bar. He talked to the bartender before spotting a manager and then talked to him. He came over a few minutes later.
"You know, if you came to my house, I'd let you use my phone."
I tried to explain that the phone up here didn't call out at all.
"I'd still let you use my phone if you came to my house."
I told him that if I could call out I would most definitely let him use the phone, it just hadn't been able to call out for a long time.
"I'm just messing with you." He said.

I sat him, I told him to enjoy his meal, and I went back up to the hostess desk and exploded. I was furious at this guy. I didn't care if he was kidding or not, that whole this was totally unnecessary and completely rude. It's not uncommon for phones in restuarants not able to call out and it's not like it's my fault anyway that the phone can't call out. It used to be able to, I've let customers use it before. I've called out on it once or twice myself. But it got to be a bad habit for people to make personal phone calls from up there and the managers got rid of that feature.

Just Plain Wrong...

I don't have a big long story on this one, but these customers make me mad just the same. One of our servers had a party of about 6 or 7 (not enough to grat unfortunately), one of whom had worked with a couple of our other servers at another restaurant. Usually, that means decent tip, if the customer has worked at a restaurant before. Not this time. Their food took a little longer than it should have, but there were several of them and everyone's food was taking a little long that day. The guy at the table that had worked with our other servers was a cook at that restaurant, so he of all people should have known that it wasn't the server's fault the food took so long. Their bill? $80. The tip? $1. No, that's not a typo on my part. They actually left the server one dollar on an eighty dollar check for no reason other than their food took too long. *Shakes head* what is wrong with people??

Stinky Guy...

There's not much to this guy, just that none of the servers want him because he always smells like he hasn't showered in a week and he doesn't tip. Although, one of our cuter female servers did manage to get a decent tip out of him by being extra friendly. He always comes in by himself, (I think he orders a chicken sandwich everytime) sometimes a couple of days in a row, but at least once a week. It's not just that he doesn't smell very good, it's that you can smell him several tables over.

Chicken Guy...

This guy is a trip. He comes in with his family (his asian wife and two daughters), orders for them water and all three of them share one soup and one salad (the soup & salad combo) while he gets soda (alcohol sometimes I think...) and a big entree all to himself (the chicken sandwich). One time, he made a comment to either the hostess or the server about how they had fed the girls before they came, which makes sense, sort of...One of the theories about this guy is that his wife is a mail order bride and getting to eat out is a big treat for the family, even if all they get is soup and salad to share...If he does tip, it's usually not very good, I don't think...

Wing Lady...

This lady is mean! She usually sends her wings back at least two or three times before settling for what comes out and eating them. She has specific instructions for how her wings are made and she's not afraid to send them back if they don't come out right. None of her instructions are even close to what she wants either! She tells the server to have them cook the wings for a certain amount of time, and when they do, it's not long enough and she sends them back. And that wouldn't be so bad if she were nice about it and left decent tips, but noooo, she's nasty about it and none of the servers want to take her at all!

What's a Monday Night without some drama?

2006-06-06T00:55:00.000-04:00

We didn't have quite the same quality of drama tonight as with the cheerleaders' mothers, but your usual Monday night stuff! :)

The night started off normal enough, a little on the slow side, but perfect for all the trainees who are still learning the ropes. Someone in the bar had four kids with them who were running around screaming and yelling like it was Chuck-E-Cheese's or something, they were annoying, but they left eventually. It wasn't until around 9 or so that things got interesting. There were two hostesses left, me and my best friend who I was training, and these two guys came in.

One was slightly taller and the other one was shorter and stockier. The shorter of the two had a little too much bounce in his step, and I don't mean the filled-with-energy kind of bounce, it was more like a wobble. He couldn't open his eyes all the way and he slurred his speech, so his friend did all the talking. "Just two of us, we're not here to drink" -- um, okay? We definitely didn't ask if they had come to drink, the one seemed plastered already, except he was way too out of it to be drunk...

After my friend got back from seating them, we all (the third hostess hadn't left yet) agreed that he was beyond stoned and we wondered what his friend was thinking bringing him out to a restaurant like that. A little while after they were seated, the stoner gets up and goes to the bathroom (which as far as I know, he found by himself), when he comes back, he asks us if we knew where his "boy" was. I look back at their table, and there he is, just where the stoner left him. I point to his table, "He's over there, at your table." And the stoner shuffles off to his table.

Several minutes later, the stoner gets up again, this time, he ventures outside. Why is he going outside? Why is his friend letting him wander around outside? Who knows. We couldn't figure it out. The stoner was gone for ten minutes before his friend went to go find him. After he went outside, we saw the stoner to the left of our building (if you're looking at it from the street) and we saw his friend start walking in the opposite direction. We watched the stoner as he was doing his "drunk walk" over to our next door neighbor's, a Chevy Chase Bank, his arms are streching and going from his sides to the top of his head, and back down again. He can't hold still, he has to move. We finally see him start to come inside, so I say "I think we have stuff to do in the back, don't you?" my friend agrees and we try to get to the kitchen before he sees us, but we're too slow...
"Miss, miss!" He calls (at least he was a polite stoner) and we turn, 'cause we're good hostesses like that, "Do you know where my boy went?"
Luckily, his friend was right behind him coming through the door.
"He went out looking for you." my friend said.
"He's right there." I point.
The two reunite and go back to their table.

Within a minute of being at the table, the stoner has passed out. He's slumped over in the booth and his friend is on his cell phone. A few minutes after that, the cops show up. I think someone else called the cops (we had been discussing whether or not to in the back since the stoners showed up), and it must have been a slow night for the Anne Arundel County Police Department because four officers showed up!
"We got a call about a drunk wandering around in back of your lot." The first officer says to us.
I point to their table, "They're over there, and we don't think they're 'drunk'. We think they're stoned."
Another officer asks if they had a bill or anything like that. I told them no, they only had drinks. I got a funny look from a couple of the officers and I realized they thought I meant alcohol, "Sodas,"I quickly added. "They got sodas."

Then our little Manager In Training comes out to talk to the table. I point him out to the officers and they go over to talk to him and the table. Somehow, one of the servers got involved and was talking to them too, meanwhile, the whole bar had pretty much stopped what they were doing to watch. Me and my friend and one or two of the servers, were just leaning against the hostess desk just watching and trying not to smile too much.
"Only on a Monday Night." and "Gotta love that Monday Night Drama." could be heard from employees throughout the restaurant.

Eventually, the guys are asked to leave and they do. The cops linger for a few minutes and they leave too. I go into the back and everyone is still buzzing about it while doing their sidework.
Come to find out, the same server who took care of the stoners, (also the same one who was called a stupid wench by the gay cheerleader) also had the people who had the four annoying kids. The kids ran around the bar the entire time they were there, they would play with each other, they would think they were playing the games, they could yell back to mom that they were playing the games, they would fall down and go crying back to mom, then they would run away again, only to come crying back to mom once more. The entire bar (and possibly the whole restuarant) knew that the kids where there, it's kind of hard to forget four screaming, undisciplined kids, but turns out it is possible because the parents left them in the bar!

The server had to run outside with all four of the kids bawling behind her trying to catch the parents before they left. Then, the woman yelled at the server! :-O "We were coming back!" She snapped. The server was just doing what she was suppose to, "exceed expectations" (that's our silly little motto), what else was she suppose to do if a customer left their kids? If people leave food or jackets or credit cards, we chase after them into the parking lot to try and catche them before they leave. If the server hadn't chased her with the kids, she would have been angry that no one reminded her that she had four kids with her (although how anyone could forget those brats I'm not sure).
"Only at my tables" that server was mumbling at the end of the night when people were saying "only on monday night". Unfortunately, it's true! She had the gay cheerleader who looked like he was sixteen and tried to get her to serve him alcohol then started drama, she had the stoners (because the server who's section that was didn't want to take them), and she had the people who left their kids and then yelled at her for bringing them out to the car.

That is why I don't serve tables. Because some servers get all the good tables (by sheer luck) and make $95 on a Monday night, and some just get all the lousy ones. And with my luck, I'd get all the lousy ones. It's happened before when I served at Chi-Chi's, I'd get all the really nice people, I'd play with their kids and their orders were perfect, and I'd get less than ten percent as a tip (although, the two gay guys I had once were really nice, funny, and they tipped well). Or I would get the people who didn't tell me if their food came out wrong and write a negative comment card about how I didn't care about them. Don't get me wrong, there are awesome people who do come into the restaurants in this area, it's just that they are extremely out numbered by people who have no idea how to behave themselves or tip.

Cheerleaders: Their Mothers Aren't Much Better...

2006-04-11T03:23:00.000-04:00

Holy crap! What a Monday night! I’ll try and start from the beginning and stay in order as much as I possibly can, but everything is so mixed up and there’s so much to tell I don’t know how well I’ll pull it off. I’m so completely...tired, coming off of being furious with these people, hormonal, and God knows what else right now, I’m just a big ol’ melting pot of emotions.

It starts out as our typical GD Monday night, slow as anything. This is the night I work not for the money, but to hang out and have fun socializing with the other employees. It’s mostly the same crew that works on Monday nights, so we all know each other and joke around freely. There’s no tension or hostility, Monday nights are the best atmosphere to work in, unless you want to make lots of money, then you’re just SOL. I’m in the back trying to work out who’s going to cover my Saturday night shift (I know I make my own schedules and it’s a boo-boo on my part, but come on, it’s not like I’m the only one who makes boo-boos), when one of the other hostesses tells Monkey Boy that there’s some lady on the phone about a party of 30. Monkey Boy goes in the office, and either he talked to her or she hung up, and looks in the manager’s log and sure enough, there’s something in there for a party of 30 at 7:30. It’s now 7 o’clock and we’re trying to figure out where they can go.

Basically, Monkey Boy sent me up front and told me to figure something out. My plan was to set them up in the 30’s and 40’s (a row of tables and a row of booths that were across the aisle from each other), that way, we could push as many of the 30’s together as we could so they could have one long table and a bunch of little ones back to back. No big deal, it’s a Monday night, we only have to wait for other tables to get up before we can say that we’re completely ready for the party, and that’s with a few extra seats incase one or two people had decided to tag along.

Around 7:00-7:15ish, one woman shows up. She comes through the exit door, and asks me where the restroom is located. I point back towards carry out and tell her it’s down the hallway underneath the American flag (yeah yeah, it’s actually a rodeo flag but she didn’t know that).
“Where’s the party of thirty being seated?” was her next question, after I had barely finished telling her where the bathroom was.
I’m thinking, “Okaaaay, ‘cause that was definitely the next question I was expecting out of you!”
I tell her and point out the area of tables that the party will be taking and she goes to use the bathroom. The other hostesses and I kinda laugh at her while she’s in the bathroom, “Because if she had just gone ahead to the bathroom, seen all the tables with menus and silverware set up, and put two-and-two together, she wouldn’t have had to ask that question!”

When she comes back from the bathroom, she asks if she can have a glass of water so she can take some Tylenol. I asked her if maybe she might prefer to go ahead and sit down at one of the tables for the thirty, because they were all set up and ready to go, and just have her server take care of her. She said that she would rather wait for everyone else and just have the water now. I’m still cheerful and willing to help at this point, so I go back in the kitchen and get her some ice water and bring it back up to her. She still doesn’t want to sit down at the table, she still wants to wait for the others, and me and the other two hostesses go on chatting about whatever we were talking about.

Ten minutes go by, the woman is still waiting for the rest of her party and, with the three Ho’s talking amongst ourselves, she wanders over to one of the party’s tables and sits down. We all thought that it was a little weird and out there, I was the teeniest bit frustrated because I hadn’t explained which tables were going to be the party’s and how the checks were going to be handled, but I wasn’t upset that she was one less person I had to deal with.

7:30 rolls around, and the Lone Woman is still the only one sitting at the party table. Our Team Captain for Monday nights comes out and wonders where the party is. We were wondering too, ‘cause, it’s an entire 29 people who are all late together, usually they tend to trickle in around the time that they tell the restaurant. At this point, we (the hostesses and a few of the servers) are joking about how many the rest of the party is the imaginary friends of this woman, and random other silly stuff like that. Nobody is really giving two shits about anything at this point; it’s Monday night, everyone’s mellow on Monday nights.

Finally, fifteen or so minutes late, the party shows up. We knew it was gonna be cheerleaders, we knew they were gonna be young. What we didn’t know, was that when they called to tell us it was going to be a party of 30, what they left out was the number of parents who were also coming.
“Is it set up for the parents too?” One of the mothers asked me.
“We were told it was going to be 30 people.” I tell her, which was as much of an answer as I could give.
“Oh well that’s just the girls, the parents are here too.”
“Well how many parents are there?”
”At least one or two for each girl.”
I wanted to slap her, but not that much...not yet.
“Well,” I said. “I kinda need a definite number.”
Blank stare. Like she’s never heard of a “definite number” before, come on! You’re all adults! You’ve eaten at restaurants before! Most places can’t just throw tables together for 60 people when they were only expecting 30, not on the fly like that!
“You can’t just accommodate us as we come in?”
I really wanted to smack her and ask if she even knew how a restaurant worked.

Instead, I told her I was going to go run all this by a manager and I would be right back. While I was gone, someone told me later, that some of the women were complaining about how we weren’t prepared to take care of all of them and this and that. I’m sorry, but if you’ve ever been to our GD before, then you can see that we don’t have room to hide a party room somewhere! We’re not a party restaurant, we don’t have the space or patience for large parties, and yet, they still insist on coming and then they start complaining about the lousy service their getting.

Now, we don’t really have a policy on what to do if a party is larger than what they initially tell us, so we do the best we can. Something that we’ve had to do too much recently (more on that another time, we’ll just say that the entire North East Junior Prom decided to come in one Saturday night), but we somehow mange to manage not too poorly.

At the time, there were four open tables in the 20’s, well three in the 20’s and one in the Teens. Three four tops and one six top, and these are right on the other side of a wall from the rest of the party, it’s not like their completely secluded off in a distant corner. I begin to set that up for an extra 18 people, thinking that because we came up with something on the fly and they didn’t have to wait for a half an hour (like a second party of 30 would have had to do), that it would be all right and if we needed more space we’d deal with that when we came to it.

By the time I get back from setting all that up, four of the adults from the party had gone and grabbed a table in the bar, and it was fine with me because it was less for me to deal with. One of the other Ho’s shows the remaining adults to the tables I had set up for them, and that’s the end of the direct interaction with the party on the hostess end.
The four people who had gone to the bar up and decided later that they were gonna move to a table closer to the rest of the party. Which is normally fine, we had an extra six-top available actually. Did they ask us or talk to us at all about moving? Nope. They just picked themselves up and moved over to a booth that wasn’t even one of theirs to begin with nor was it ever going to be one of theirs. I went and I told one of the servers that they had moved and she asked if someone could get drinks or something for them, and I told her that it wasn’t gonna be me and they could all rot there without service for all I cared. Moving like that, picking your own table, seating yourself, all those things I take personally. I take those as an “f--- you” because that’s saying to me that you don’t respect me enough to let me do my job, you don’t respect me enough to acknowledge that I’m here or that I’m doing a job that would take care of you in that way. So yeah, I refused to have anything else to do with the people who moved from the bar to the dinning room on their own.

The rest of the story gets a little fuzzy from here on out because I had to hear it from several different people who heard it from other people. The gossip in GD is good, but it isn’t perfect, there are still a few kinks, and it sometimes ends up like a game of Telephone, but it’s pretty good with the important details.

So here’s what I know: there was buying of alcohol from the bar and bringing it to one or two of the middle-school-aged girls, there was drinking/attempted drinking on the part of one who was refused for sale of alcohol because he didn’t have his I.D. with him, there was rudeness all around, and there was name calling. As far as the details go, I’m going on what I heard, what I was told, and what I can remember (because this all happened like five or six hours ago and a few little things have happened in between).

While I was talking with the other Ho’s about what kind of stupid you have to be to not include parents in the number of a group of kids, when we start to hear rumors about one of the mothers buying a White Russian (Light cream or milk, Kahlua, and Vodka), bringing it over to the party, and giving it to her daughter to drink. We started to ask around, mostly whoever happened to come by the desk, and it turned out it was true.

Then, we started hearing something about the gay guy. The gay guy was this skinny little thing who didn’t look like he was much older than the girls himself, and he was, as it turned out, the coach! This guy was so flamboyantly gay, he had the walk down to a T, and he was wearing capri's!! This is Glen Burnie, we are Ghetto Rednecks, we’re not used to flamboyantly gay, the guys in this area are too macho for that.

Anyway, this guy did not look 21 by any stretch of the imagination. He wanted an Appltini (or some sort of martini) and his server (who had been literally dragged from the bar, by one of their number, to come and take care of them, this is clear on the other side of the restaurant) asked him for his I.D. He tried to explain that he left it in his car and if she would put the order in and go get it, he’d go out and get his I.D. while she was doing that. Well, that was not gonna fly, not even with our dumbest of employees. Their server calmly and politely explained that without proper I.D., she couldn’t serve him alcohol, “No I.D., no alcohol. That’s our policy.” The table being right by carryout, the girl working naturally saw everything. We had enlisted her to relay to us what was going on later when we realized that something actually was going on with this party.

After that, those four got even more rude with the server. It was like every chance they got, they found something rude to say or a rude way to make a comment. Two of the other people (one of which had an I.D., and it was real, it just wasn’t her picture) at the table ordered the martini, and when the server stopped by later, one of the martinis was in front of the guy. The carry out girl had been watching and he had been drinking out of it. Someone did even overhear the table say “they’re on top of this” as far as checking I.D.s for alcohol goes.

I made sure and explained to the other Ho’s, who are relatively new, why we were so strict. GD is a relatively new company, we’re celebrating our 10th anniversary this year, the company not our particular store. And one big, drunk driving or underage lawsuit could potentially bankrupt the entire company. Not just the whole store, the entire COMPANY could be gone in one lawsuit and there’s no way that we’re gonna be the store responsible for bringing down the whole company, so yeah, we basically I.D. everyone who orders alcohol.

One of our Team Captains, who wasn’t working but came in for food and got roped in to staying and helping out for a little bit, ended up going out to the table and taking the martini away from the guy, which sent the people into even more of a rage. They wanted to talk to him, but unfortunately for them at that point, food was coming up. Orders needed to be prepped and trayed up and run out, all for the party and this team captain was the one who ended up expo-ing. Monkey Boy had to go and talk to the now irate table, who were not happy that the “manager” who had taken their drink wasn’t back out to talk to them.

Our entire store is buzzing now, the party is all any of us can talk about. We’re all doing our work, let’s not leave that part out, but it’s Monday night and there isn’t much work to be done, so all we’ve really got to do is stand around and talk to each other about the party. Soon after Monkey Boy visits the irate table, the two other servers who are actually taking care of the rest of the party, realize that the party is being even more stupid. All of the people placing orders, are placing orders with each of the three servers taking car of parts of this party. Food is being ordered in triple. Big problem.

The kitchen is backed up, Monkey Boy tells the hostesses to stop the door, the team captains are expo-ing and running food, and the party is getting more and more rude by the minute. The enitre staff (the part that speaks English anyway) knows exactly what’s going on and where by now, everyone is filling in everyone else on any stray bit of juicey news that comes along. If one of the customers made one rude remark to one server, the rest of the staff knew about it within five to ten minutes. Our entire attention and focus has been this party since they walked in the door, and now that they were causing trouble with some of our own, the focus wasn’t gonna shift to anything else.

Some of the women, who still seemed to be stuck in highschool-drama-mode, didn’t like the fact that the staff were standing around talking about them, or so they presumed (they were right, but that’s beside the point). Some of the women began to complain that the staff was talking about them and rolling their eyes at them. So what? They came in with a large party that was double the number of people we were expecting, we get them sat down almost right away anyway, we’re accomodating as best we can as far as servers, drinks, refills and like go, and then they want to start complaining about the service? I don’t think so.

Ours is a tight-knit group, our GD staff. Even if we don’t like one of the employees, and a customer riles that employee for whatever reason, everyone knows about it and swoops down and automatically hates that customer. You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. We are very much like a big family, even if it is only a work family. So when the irate table from before moves to the bar, and starts calling the server a slut, whore, stupid wench, and other nasty names every time she walks by, of course we’re gonna talk about them and roll our eyes at them! We’re girls (for the most part) that’s one of the things we do best! It was so hard for the rest of us to keep our cool and not go chew out some of these people or throw them out ourselves!

Monkey Boy was once again called out to talk to the table, this time by both the table and the server. Several of the employees actually. We all wanted them kicked out for the names they were calling their server, when all she ever did was her job. Monkey Boy tried to talk to them, but they just didn’t wanna listen at all, they didn’t want to reason, all they wanted to do was argue and cause trouble. After Monkey Boy left their table, they went back over to the party and talked some more about what had happened and what was going on. They were all talking amongst themselves, making themselves even more angry, and we were all talking amongst ourselves. It was like being back in highschool, except the middleschoolers were the ones who were the most well behaved out of this entire party of 60.

The time for the checks came, we all knew that this was going to be a fun little adventure. We knew from the get-go that they were going to want separate checks, with each kids’ food matching up on the same check as her parents’ food. If racism hadn’t been brought up by the party before, it was now. One of the servers, while trying to figure out who had which check, asked one woman if she had the steak salad. The woman said yes, but when she got her check and it supposedly wasn’t right she said, “I know we all look the same to you, but you need to get your stuff straight, this is rediculous!”

Apparently it didn’t matter to her that the server had to figure out where 60 or so different checks needed to have all the right food and go to all the right people, the server still had to know exactly what she and her daughter specifically ordered and then find her in the crowd of people waiting for their checks to give it to her. I forget why exactly, but Monkey Boy was once again out front talking to one of the women who was “in charge” (yeah right, she was in charge of all the angry complainers who couldn’t get away with whatever they want), and she wasn’t happy. She seemed to be getting angrier with every word that came out of Monkey Boy’s mouth. Nothing he could say seemed to make her even less angry. At one point, I heard her say, “And what’s with this attitude we’re getting? What did this group do?”
And I thought, “Bitch are you serious??”
I couldn’t believe that she thought that we were going to sit and take all of their crap without an attitude of some kind! I heard her telling Monkey Boy about how no matter how mad the customer makes you, you still have to do good customer service and this and that. She’s going to sit there and tell one of our managers how to have customer service and handle crappy customers?!

We bent over backwards and basically ignored every other customer in the restaurant to take care of this party, and rude comments, name calling, and giving alcohol to minors (something we could loose our liquor license for) are the thanks we get in return. Add to that, complaint after complaint about how we were unprepared to take care of them, blah blah blah blah blah! No one in that party seemed to realize just how a restaurant worked, how much the size of their party and the fact that we weren’t expecting that many had to do with their problems! That and they were idiots about the whole alcohol thing.

Not one of them was very mature about any of this! It was like they were barely out of highschool themselves or something! The actual cheerleaders themselves were on better behavoir than their parents! The mothers (there were only one or two guys there, so I’ma say mothers all I want ‘cause that was who was causing the most trouble) were the ones who were stuck up and thought that they could say and do whatever they wanted. They were like spoiled, rich brats who have everything handed to them and when something they want isn’t given to them, they trow a tantrum. That’s what this whole thing was, it was an entire group of grown women having temper tantrums at the same time.

After they all finally leave, three hours after they came in, I find out that a lot of the women refused to pay their checks because of how they were “treated” and racism and all that bull. I don’t know how many checks there were initially, or how much the grand total for the party was. All I know is that after they were all gone, there were 13 un-paid checks that added up to over three hundred (yes, $300) dollars worth of food and drinks. All because one server was doing her job and ID-ing someone who didn’t look like he was over forty years old.

Monkey Boy called up String Bean and told him the whole story. String Bean told him to get statements from anyone who had direct contact with the party, or almost direct contact (was watching the entire time, servers and stuff were able to keep closer watch over them than the hostesses). The reason he wanted statements was because the one main Bitch (if you’ll excuse the language, I’ve really got no other words for her at this point) that Monkey Boy was dealing with towards the end had come back into the restaurant to get Monkey Boy’s and the server’s name as well as the corporate number.

Naturally, all of us were talking long after the party left. We wondered about how far she thought she would get with corporate, especially if we sent them everything about the story first, with our different sides of it. She’s crazy if she thinks she’s getting more than gift certificates out of it, corporate’s not gonna listen to her when they know that the guy didn’t have his I.D. (they were trying to play it off ot Monkey Boy that none of them was ever carded, please! That’s such a load of bull, the carry out girl saw the server card them!), it’s just not gonna work out her way.

I think that’s about everything that went down. If I think of anything else, I’ll put an addendum down at the bottom or something. This is just over 8 pages long and it’s as much as I can remember with this party. I have never written a blog entry this long before. These people take the cake as far as lousy, rude, mean, and crappy customers go, they really do! While it’s true that this whole situation could have been handled differently and/or better on our end, but we managed as best we could under the circumstances. I’d be willing to bet money that if that party had gone to any other restaurant, and done and said the exact same stuff they did to us, if they treated another restaurant the same way, they would have gotten a similar, if not exactly the same, reaction as they got from us.

Oh, yeah, if I haven't mentioned it yet, the cheerleaders were all MIDDLE SCHOOL AGE!! Their parents weren't much of an example of how to behave at restaurants at all!

Oh yeah, the three servers who took care of the party for three hours, made $0, $9, and $11 in tips. For that kind of crap, they might not as well have even wasted their time. They could have had so many other tables in there while they were taking care of this party, they could have made twice that, at least.

Addendum: 4-15-06
I found out Wednesday, that String Bean had a meeting with the leader of the cheerleaders on Tuesday, but not how it went. I found out last night (finally) how it went. Apparently, the owner of the gym, or wherever the cheerleaders are from, came to meet with String Bean, apologized and paid the balance left by the angry mothers. Apparently, some of the mothers also called up to apologize. I'm also told that String Bean didn't do any apologizing on behalf of the restaurant, I didn't realize it, but he can have a backbone when he wants with the customers. Go String Bean! (I still wanna quit by the way... ~_^ )

One less teenager in the world...

2006-03-06T16:56:00.000-05:00

We have a birthday here on the count of three, 1 2 3

Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Hey!

Happy Happy Happy Birthday, Ho!

Happy Happy Happy Birthday,

To Me, To Me, To Me, Ole!

One more year and I can buy alcohol legally!

More "Shit-eth"

2006-02-03T13:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, so get this! As stated in my last post, "Danny" didn't get fired for helping himself to alcohol after hours, he got promoted. No one else got fired either, I'm sure they got a talking to, but that seems to have been about it.

So this past Saturday, String Bean tells me to take one of my hostesses off of the schedule. This hostess has been working there for almost a year, she's one of my best, especially for putting up with all the crap of this particular restaurant. Sometime last week, when we were both working, along with "Danny", she called him a "wannabe manager" jokingly while he was around. Apparently, he took great offense (even though he kids around and is sarcastic all the time) and wrote her up. String Bean was going to fire her. However, "Danny" couldn't even remember when it happened, he claimed that it was in front of the trainee hostesses, but it wasn't! It was just me, her, and him that heard her make the comment.

So apparently String Bean definitely plays favorites. "DannY" gets caught drinking after hours, at the restaurant's expense, and serving a minor (which is illegal) and he gets promoted anyway. This hostess, jokingly calls "Danny" a "Wannabe" and she's gonna loose her job? In what world is "wannabe" worse than serving a minor? He is a wannabe manager, the position isn't technically a manager position, as I've mentioned before. So she just re-worded his title and he goes and tries to get her fired? Look at who's calling the kettle black.

Thankfully, one of our other not-managers told String Bean and Monkey Boy that if this hostess was fired, she was walking right out the door with her. I would have gone too, and I had half a mind to crash that meeting between Monkey Boy and the hostess, I'm not sure why I didn't...I really should have...

“The Shit-ith Hath Hit-eth The Fan-eth”

2006-01-13T00:40:00.000-05:00

Whoa boy, what a shift at work today, and on Friday the 13th too! Talk about your drama! Names* of some sort are going to be necessary in this latest installment of the happens of my restaurant. Monkey Boy and String Bean are partially involved, and there are a few more that need to be established before hand:

Danny: a server has only been working here a few months
Frenchie: has been working much longer than Bob, also a server
Sandy: has been working longer than both Bob and Jill, first as a hostess then as a server.
Rizzo: “manager”/server, one of the original employees hired three or four years ago.

Okay, I'll try to put this in chronilogical order as best I can, but I'm not totally sure of the order of everything.

First, Rizzo put in her two weeks not too long ago. She's smart trying to get out, but she was willing to work two full two weeks (not like other employees we've had who just up and quit and not show up anymore). Well, String Bean foolishly left the manager schedule out where everyone could see (whether on purpose or simply because he's not all there, I'm not sure) and one of the servers noticed that he had taken Rizzo off the schedule completely after ths week (thus, not giving her the full two weeks of work). So this server gives Rizzo a call to let her know. Five minutes later, Rizzo calls up and asks for String Bean, who is sitting at a table in the bar.

I tell String Bean that Rizzo is on the phone for him, not realizing that the server had called her already and head back up front. Rather than taking the phone call in the office as my previous (and much better boss) would have done, String Bean takes it up front where me, another hostess, and a carry-out person are and where we can hear every word of his half of the conversation. Only hearing half is definitely not as good as the whole thing, but you can figure out most of what the other one is saying from the reactions you can hear. The extent of the phone call was this: Rizzo quit right then and there because of what String Bean did to the schedule, that among other things. The conversation lasted about ten or fifteen minutes and from what String Bean was, calmly saying, Rizzo seemed to be really mad. I imagine String Bean took Rizzo off the schedule for what happened last Saturday after hours on her shift.

Backing up to last Saturday...
Four people were caught on tape after hours. The the bar has two security cameras on it at all times (the actual bar itself, not the whole area we call "The Bar") and these people thought the cameras were off, I think otherwise they would not have done this. Danny, Frenchie, and another two servers were in the bar (that's the area now), helping themselves to beer and other alcohol. Danny is on tape going back to the bar 4 or 5 times for more beer (whether it was for himself or the others I'm not sure). Three of them definitely had beers and they poured the fourth server, who is most definitely not 21, a shot. I was told later (by the minor himself) that he didn't take the shot because he was about to get up and go drive home. At least he's a sensible minor ;)

Bringing it back up to date...
Sandy is royally ticked about Danny's getting picked for Rizzo's place. Not just because she got passed up, but because a whole bunch of other, more capible people, could have been picked instead of Danny. Several other servers would be much better choices for the "Team Captain" position. It's not really a manager position, you can't hire or fire people, it's like a manager assistant or something. They can open and close the store, and they've got access to the office and we're suppose to listen to them (yeah, right), but that's about it. It's kind of a joke position really, "We don't trust you enough to be a real manager, but we'll let you pretend"

Update: Thursday, January 19...
Danny had a manger shirt on today! I walked in and he was up front trying to tell one of my more experienced hostesses how to do her job. Yeah, that went over well. Needless to say she was happy to see me. I'm perfectly fine with Danny being a "manager", but if he tries to tell me or my other hostess (who actually do know what they are doing by the way) how to do their jobs, I'm gonna raise some hell. He's been at this restaurant for three months max. I've been hostessing at this restaurant for over a year, plus my hostess experience before that! I've got at least two years experience hostessing, plus my other experience bussing and serving. I know that in the week Danny's been a manager, he couldn't have possibly been trained enough as a host to meet my standards for my host. He probably wouldn't last on a Monday night hosting by himself! Yeah, they can throw all the "rules" at him, they can tell him how it's suppose to be done, but there's so much more to it than that. Yeah, he's got people skills, he made a good server, but that doesn't mean that he can host worth beans! Hostessing isn't something that you get good at by being taught, it's by doing. You have to learn to anticipate what the guest will want, and that is what makes them the happiest. You can't teach that, I don't care how hard you try. Servers are always saying to me that my job isn't all that hard or stressful, and I say BS! It can be both if you let it! It's not a hard job, but it can get complicated, and it's only stressful if everyone else in the restaurant isn't doing what they should (which, in our restaurant, is pretty darn often) or if guests are being particularly annoying.

*Names changed to match characters from "Greace" because I watched it recently and it was on my mind. Names of characters in the movie and in my restaurant have no corispondence and were assigned randomly.

Shopping List

2006-01-11T01:40:00.000-05:00

Week of December 21st to the 28th, 2005.

Coke
Diet Coke
Whirl (melted butter-like substance that is squirted on veggies)
Pickles
French Fries
Linens (cloth napkins that we roll silverware with, thus the term “Ghetto Wraps” was coined one day, we had to use paper napkins...)
Wings (we ran out of wings on Wing Night!!)
To-go boxes
Honey mustard
Sprite
Nachos
Sausage
Straws
Cheese Mix
Chicken Breast
Tabasco Sauce
Crab Dip
Ketchup
Mustard (yellow, we still had the yucky “Bertman Ball Park” stuff that nobody seems to like)
Bistro
Au Jus
Lemons
Sam Adams
Hefaueizen (a draft beer we usually carry)
Miller Lite - draft
Miller Lite - bottle
Equal
Paper napkins
Bev. Naps (the little square napkins we put drinks on)
Mints
Crayons
Mac & Cheese
Heiniken - bottle
Filet
Raspberry screen (I have no idea what this is, I think I’m not reading my own handwriting properly...)
Celery

This entire list covers the things that we ran out of at one point or another over the course of seven days. That’s right. Most of these things we ran out of over a period of five or six days. The last few were added on the seventh. This list is unbelievable; these are things that we should never have run out of. I’m not sure where the foulup was, or who’s to blame, but thirty-six things? One or two is understandable, we’re humans, we make mistakes. It’s easy enough to overlook a few things, but wouldn’t thirty-six things have been noticed?

Someone finall told off NA!

2005-12-18T21:44:00.000-05:00

One of our servers finally had enough of NA's antics! They came in one night in their typical style: loud and in a large group. They always come in late, usually when there's only one server on the restuarant side and one on the bar side. So by the time they came in, their server already had 8 other tables. For some reason, it couldn't have been that she had soooo many tables, she wasn't paying as much attention to them as they would have liked. They started snapping their fingers at her and coming over to her and trying to tell her something while she was taking another table's order! Thankfully, her tables could all see what complete a-holes these people were being and were totally cool with it and nice to the server.

I don't know what the final straw was that set her off, but it couldn't have been pretty. But she let them have it. I doubt she was dropping the f-bomb or anything like that, but I'm so glad that somebody finally had the guts to tell them off! They have abused the fact that we have to be nice to the customers no matter what for far too long. They think that the more often they come in, and the more money they spend, the more right they have to treat the employees however they want.

They won't be served by male servers. They don't like booths, because if more people show up, they can't steal tables to add on to what they've already got. They can't count. They never have the number that they tell us. If they call ahead, they think it means that something will be waiting for them when they walk in the freakin' door. If they don't call ahead, it's always when they have a large number that we can't always accomodate right away. They're all perverts and have no problem smack-talking you behind your back. They think they're the only customers in the restaurant and everyone should drop what they're doing to help them. They'll steal dirty tables and then not do a thing to help clean them off, just watch and tell you that you're doing a good job (when they're really probably just trying to see down your shirt or something).

I hope one day one of them stumbles upon this blog. I can't get fired because I do this when I'm off the clock. Plus I don't mention names or where I work so they couldn't prove it. On top of that, probably by the time they do find this blog, I will have long since left that restaurant and gone on to a place where I get treated better.

Still Here...

2005-10-28T22:32:00.000-04:00

Over a month after I put my two weeks in, I'm still at the restaurant. The only cool manager left convinced me to stay until they had more hostesses. Now, he's leaving! What does that tell you about our restaurant?

I actually have nothing to gripe about right now, besides the usual customer stuff. We're fully staffed as far as hostesses go, and they're all good!

Not Anymore

2005-09-11T23:43:00.000-04:00

I just can't do it anymore. My good days at work are few and far between, being far outweighed by not-so-good-days. I can't deal with the servers telling me how to do my job anymore, and guests constantly blaming me for stuff, treating me like crap just because I work in a restaurant and because I'm not a server or manager, I'm tired of Monkey Boy constantly scaring away hostesses because of his extreme sarcasm, I'm tired of hostesses being hired and leaving like there's a revolving door up front. I wish we could pay them more so the good ones would stay, that would be a step in making it worth my staying. That and there's a rumor that one of the to-go guys gets paid a lot hourly plus some under the table. If it's true, that's what I'm going for to make me stay. That, and MY handles on the hostess desk. String Bean's didn't last more than a week! He picked appearance over practicality. Mine were small and sturdy. So they were silver, big deal. It's not like everything in the restaurant matches everything else. Our summer menu (it's an insert) doesn't even match our normal menu! I don't think anybody would notice two little silver handles on the doors of the hostess desk.

I thought I could put up with it, I thought I could deal, but apparently I can only take so much. As soon as my last boss says that they're opening a store near here (Applebee's) and making him the GM, I'm dropping whatever I'm doing to go and work for him. He knows how to run a store.

Wing Night

2005-09-07T22:40:00.000-04:00

One of my privilages of being Head Host, is that I get to make the schedules. As such, I feel guilty when I give myself good shifts like morning shifts so I can get out early. So what I do is just not schedule myself for really crappy shifts, like on Wing Night. I absolutely hate working Wing Night. Wings are 35 cents apiece (and no you can't buy three wings, you have to buy them in the amounts allotted in the menu) and every teenager in the county and his brother come down for the cheap wings. They always come in parties of five or more, never call ahead, and usually only order wings and water and leave lousy tips. None of that affects me though, not really.

What I hate about wing night is that the teenagers do not know how to be proper guests, like they were too dense to pick it up from their parents or their idiot parents never tried to teach them in the first place. This pas wing night went fairly well though. I think it was because some people have gone off to college and others going back to school and not staying out as late and spending as much money as before. An entire high school football team wanted to come down at eat during the busiest time of night. When we told them it was going to be at least an hour, they told us that they already had people on their way down. Well, they must have called those people because no one from that team came in. They decided not to come and didn't tell us so much as a "never mind". We had tables ready for them and everything an hour after when they called! We could have sat so many people sooner (we had held off on four tables for this party of 20)

Restaurant Survivor

2005-09-04T00:31:00.000-04:00

I came up with this yesterday when I was bored sitting around not doing the homework that I should have been doing...

The Fox Network Presents It's New Hit Show:
Restaurant Survivor!

Irritable guests nominated by the employees of the restaurant they frequent will be flown to a restaurant in the middle of nowhere where roles will be reversed.

The Goal: stay employed the longest to win the prize

The Pize: “A Year’s Worth of Free Food At The Restaurant of Your Choice” (see next line)

The REAL Prize: $2.38/hr + tips, and “the satisfaction of earning a day’s wages in the real world’.”

The Teams Will Be Chosen As Such:

The hostesses will choose five guests for the Hostess postion. The guests they choose will take turns working the different shifts (opening, double/volume, closing) and running the different spots (holding the door, working the board, running, misc. assignments). Guests who consistantly treat the hostesses like they aren’t there will become hostesses. This bad behavior includes (though not limited to): self-seating, ignoring hostesses until absolutely necessary to get sat, lying to get sat sooner, questioning hostess motives and choices, acting like hostess don’t follow rules or that it’s okay for them to break them just for you, etc. The hostesses being the first ones who come in contact with these people get first choice at nomination for the hostess position.

Guests who do not know how to treat servers will become Servers themselves. If they snap at servers to get attention (especially while the server they’re snapping at is with another table), yell at the server for something that is not the server’s fault, blame the server for everything that has gone wrong, make the server’s “poor” performace the reason to get the food free, and other such things will make a guest eligible for the server position. Servers of the restuarants will nominate the guests for this position.

Cooks will be chosen by the servers as well. Guests have been known to walk back into the kitchen and demand to know where their food and/or the manager is. Servers will choose these such guests as the ones who will become cooks. Managers are also qualified to nominate cooks as well.

Bussers will obviously be chosen by the bussers, and they may choose however they wish. Guests who are messy beware! Any children who are allowed to throw food on the floor, any guests mess up the bathroom, clog toilets, refuse to clean up after themselves because “they have people who are paid to do it” are eligible for the busser position.

Bartenders will be the guests that drink the most, flirt the most, are the most disruptive to the rest of the bar, and most annoying. Bartenders may choose whomever among their guests that they wish. Guests who are especially critical of the bartender’s knowledge/style/etc. are the most eligible as these are the worst kind of guests. Bartenders take pride in their job, nothing is more annoying than having guests speaking poorly of them while they are trying to make drinks for these annoying guests.

Managers are the guests that every employee in the restaurant wishes they could just throw out or refuse to serve. Every employee and manager may nominate guests from their restuarant for this position along with a reason why they should be made managment in Restaurant Survivor. The five guests who receive the most votes and/or the best reasons why will be come the “General Manager”, “Kitchen Manager”, and “Shift Managers”. They will all answer to the “District Manager” who is a real District Manager brought in to make the experience that much worse for those chosent to be managers.

How to win:

These new employees will be thrown into a busy restaurant (where the customers will be the employees that nominated them) and told to swim right away. Don’t worry, there will be two days of training before they’re on their own.

Every time an employee does something that is not acceptable for a restaurant employee (rude comments, snappy to the customers, etc.), they will receive a bad comment card. Too many bad comment cards by the end of the day and you will get fired. Thus disqualifying you for the grand prize.

All of the real restaurant employees will come in to eat every day as customers (payed for by the studio shooting this series), but they will get a different “server” each time. They will fill out a “comment card” after they “leave”, and rate their visit and level of quality of service.

They will be forced to smile when the guests make dumb jokes and outrageous demands.

They will take whatever the customers decide to dish out with a smile and say “Thank you for coming, we enjoyed having you here”

There will be a “Secret Shopper” every day to make sure that all of the employees are doing their job to the “company standard”. Too many low shopper scores and employees will be fired.

Customers reserve the right to do anything in their power (i.e. lie, cheat, make the server miserable) to get free food from the restaurant. Management must not give free food out to everyone that complains, however, they must do everything in their power to make the customer happy before needing to resort to giving them free food.

The employees of this restaurant (especially the “managers”) will answer to the “District Manager” who will hold daily meetings about food costs, customer satisfaction, employee appearance and attitude, teamwork, cleanliness, secret shopper scores, and anything else s/he deems worthy enough to rant about.

The managers are not allowed to fire any of their employees, only the District Manager may. The managers can put in suggestions, but the DM is in no way required to read them. The DM will take everything into account at the end of the night, comment cards, secret shopper scores, etc., before making his selection as to who he will fire.

Eventually, the restaurant will be running with a skeleton crew, making it that much harder to achieve good shopper scores and high customer satisfaction. This will also make the winner be selected faster and, as we can’t have that...

There will be one person on each team who is a current restaurant employee. This person will be a “mole” of sorts, and report things to the DM that he might not normally have seen. They will be instructed to make the jobs of their team members as hard as possible without lowering customer satisfaction, and they will be some of the last people to get fired. They are receiving no more pay than expenses for the duration of the shoot, they are doing it for the satisfaction of getting back at annoying guests, and believe me, that is more than enough.

I Learned A New Trick

2005-09-01T23:59:00.000-04:00

Tonight, around 11pm, I went and asked Monkey Boy if I could be cut. It's a school night and all, and I didn't want to be out too late (note to self: tell Monkey Boy and String Bean that 11:30 is the latest I can stay on a school night), plus I was giving Candy a ride home so her mom didn't have to drive. Well, when I asked Monkey Boy, there were three other people all having a conversation around us, so I didn't hear him right.

I thought I heard him mumble a "yeah" and nod his head slightly, the Monkey Boy Nod and Mumle. Now, my dad says all the time that he "doesn't speak mumble", and I've found that neither do I. Supposedly, there's a degenerative hearing loss in my family, and I've suspected that I've got it for a while now, I just haven't had it medically proven. It's blatenly obvious sometimes though. Anyway, Monkey Boy goes back towards the office after giving me his answer and, because I heard "yeah", I clocked out and went to give him my time-slip (he's the only manager that wants those, it's easier for him to put our hours into the computer to figure out our tip-share).

As I was heading towards him with my time slip in-hand, he's like, "I said 'no'." I stop, confused as to whether or not he's kidding (he'd been in a wierd mood all night, we all think he's a rare male who gets PMS), and say, "I thought you said 'yes'."
"Well I said 'no'."
"Do you want me to go clock back in and clock out later?"
"No."
"'Cause I can it's not a problem."
"No, you can go, I want you to listen next time."

I still don't know if he was kidding or if he was serious. I did leave though, I wasn't going to stay to find out. He would have cut me a half an hour later anyway and it wasn't like they desperately needed me either. It always dies really fast on Thursdays after the trivia game finishes up, plus the football game was almost over too. So now I have a new trick! Pretend I heard the wrong thing and clock out! This probably won't work a second time though, I wouldn't try anyway, I'm "the good little Christian girl". Everybody teases me when I cuss or say something that's remotely dirty. It's kinda funny 'cause they don't expect stuff like that to come out of my mouth...well, the hostesses do because they work with me the most, but it's always funny to see the servers reactions!

Can't Sleep

2005-08-31T00:30:00.000-04:00

I can't sleep, so I'm going to rant about what I'd do if I were to quit. Don't worry, nothing too drastic or destructive. First thing I would do: put my handles on the hostess desk and then ask the hostesses for updates on how long they last in comparison to String Bean's (the back one didn't last that long, like I predicted). According to one of the servers who's been here longer than me, there used to be silver handles on the doors, so I don't know what String Bean's problem with my solution is. Sure, my "handles" are U-bolts, but they're small U-bolts and there will be more of them in the doors than sticking out, so they're bound to last longer than his. We can paint them black for all I care...

Next, I would tell off the PITA party, NA party, Salmon Guy, and any other customer who gave the hostesses trouble while I was there. I would say everything to them that I wanted to say while I was on the clock and couldn't, and I would enjoy it with every fiber of my being. I wouldn't raise my voice, name call, or cuss, I would simply defend the hostesses against guest abuse of the "customer is always right" rule. I would ask them why they thought it was okay to treat the hostesses/other employees like crap, why they continued to patron the restaurant if they didn't like it so much, and would it kill them to be the first one to smile?

After that, I would get on String Bean* and Monkey Boy* about how if they could run a restaurant a little better, maybe they wouldn't have so much trouble keeping good people. Sure they can keep servers, but can they really keep anybody else that's worth any beans? I would tell them that they need to treat their staff better, set the example for the rest of the employees, etc. I guess I got spoiled at my last job by having a really good GM, the restaurant really did go to hell in a handbasket after he left. There are still so many people from that restaurant dying to work under him again, myself included, we could probably just open our own restaurant!

I wish I could find a better paying job so I could quit this one and do all this. But, *sigh*, as it is, I have to grin and bear it all because String Bean is the one signing off on my paycheck...

*Names changed, obviously lol. I got the idea for nicknames like that from another blog that I frequent.

The NA Party Again...

2005-08-27T14:09:00.000-04:00

Grr, I really wish we could tell these people what we really think of them! The NA party thinks that because they're always coming in and spending money and have lots of people that they own the place and know how to run it better.

It started with a call, thankfully, we've gotten them to a point where they will call ahead...sometimes. One of the other hostesses answered the phone and got the number of people they were bringing, but forgot to get a time. The number they gave her was 20 people (keep in mind that we are a small restuarant, no side dinningrooms, though people always ask), so I mentally added about 15 more to that number because they cannot count and never give us an accurate number. The head guy (the one who always calls) calls back five minutes later and I answer the phone. He says that he didn't give the other girl a time for when they would be arriving, so he tells me they'll be coming with 20 people at 10. It was 7:30 when he called! We don't do call aheads (which was what he thought he was doing) that far in advance unless the wait is that long and we weren't even on a wait! I tried to explaint that we don't do call-aheads that far in advance and he goes off on a tangent about how we're "always" telling them to call an hour in advance (when I put in that that's more than an hour in advance), how sometimes they call and we have it set up and sometimes we don't, and all this stuff blah-blah-blah. He doesn't even let me try to explain how CAS works, or that nothing is guaranteed, especially with a party that size, and that we don't hold or reserve tables. When he's done, he wants to know what servers are working, which means he wants to know if a specific server (one of a few that will willingly take care of this party) is working and I told him that she was. He wanted to talk to her! She was with other customers at the moment, so I grabbed a manager and asked him to please explain how CAS works to the NA party!

Now, this is Friday night and there is a pre-season Ravens game on almost all of our TVs, we were just a little busy. It was a typical summertime Friday night, except the bar was a little busier than usual. We went on a wait around 8 and didn't get off until a little before 9:30, so I didn't have time to think about when NA was going to be coming and to think about saving tables for them. When we're on a wait, I refuse to set five tables aside for a party that firstly, might be coming in and secondly, has never given us an accurate number of people in their party. There is no way I'm going to leave tables open and tell the people waiting that they can't sit there. Technically, we're not allowed to "hold" tables for people, but it happens, we all do it, but it's not often. There was no way that I was going to hold five tables for the NA party while we were on a wait and none of their party was even at the restaurant at the time to sit there even if I did. They didn't seem to understand this point when they arrived.

They came in around 9:30 (they had asked me if 9:30 would be better than 10 since it was more than an hour ahead, like a half hour is going to make a difference, that was still two hours after they called), and it was four of them. One guy (not the one who called) was really mad that we didn't have anything set up for them right as soon as they walked in the door. He was the type that assumes because you call ahead, you should have a table ready and waiting for you when you get there (like we're mind readers and know the exact second when you're coming in the door). He turned to the guy that did call and was like, "Yeah, they didn't do it" and I wanted to scream! I wanted to yell at them how call ahead seating works, nothing is EVER guaranteed especially with large parties, and I wasn't going to hold five tables all night for a party that I didn't know if they were even going to show up (they've done that before, not shown up when they called and said they would) and have never given me the correct number of people joining them. The guy who called, and who talked to the manager, said, "Yeah, I didn't get a straight answer until I talked to the manager and basically nothing is guaranteed...", thank you! I didn't appriciate the not getting a "straight answer" part because he didn't even let me try to explain and just went right into asking who was working, but at least one of their own was saying that nothing was guaranteed. They found an empty table at the bar and hung out there until we found a place for them in the dinningroom. The guy who called kept telling me "just fit us in where you can" and all that stuff, like he understood my position and what it's like to have my job.

I was about to offer a couple of booths that were fairly close together, when two tables got up that we could push together for them to start off with. At this point, they'd been waiting about 15 minutes (maybe 20) and there were still only about four or five people in their group, so I figured an 8-top for them to start off with would be a good thing. We pushed the tables together, told their server where they'd be (and told the server who's tables we took that it wasn't for her, she was happy!), and I told the party that they had two tables for now, and we'd play it by ear when/if anybody else came in and when the other 8-top (people who were watching the game) got up. The 8-top was perfect for them! Four people from their party apparently didn't want to wait and told one of the other hostesses that there were four and she sat them down in a booth close to where the rest of them would eventually sit. The rest of their party fit at the two tables we gave them, no more came in! At most, the number of people in their party was probably 12 or 13, not the 20 like they told us. For a small restaurant like we are, that is a huge difference!

The NA party has been to our restaurant enough to know that we are small, we don't usually handle that many people (unless they come in), we have no side dinningrooms, they shouldn't seat themselves, they shouldn't steal tables when more people come in than what they told us, they should know all of this, but they don't! They don't know this because we're not allowed to tell them! We can't tell them how it really is, that they need to work this stuff out better, or what I really want, that they should ever come back unless they are willing to do it properly and not get mad when they find out stuff is not guaranteed. They all think that we like having them, we want them to come in, we think their jokes are funny, and we want them to keep coming back (they probably would keep coming back even if we didn't want them to).

I know I'm being petty and these people have been through enough, way more than me, and I should just let it roll off my back or whatever. But just because you come in to the restaurant, I don't care who you are, does not give you the right to think you own the place and act however you want. Just because you're padding my paycheck does not mean that you can treat me and the other employees however you want. Actually, if you're going to bring up the "I'm paying your paycheck" and be mean and nasty to me, I'm just going to say "Keep it". If you're going to walk all over me and treat me like crap, I'd rather have nice people and do my job for cheaper.

They Will Always...

2005-08-21T01:34:00.000-04:00

I have found, that in the chaotic world of a restaurant, there are a few constants (comforting or otherwise). They are:

There will always be customers who...

Are never satisfied no matter how much you bend over backwards for them.

Lie through their teeth to a manger just to get something for free.

Make bad jokes and expect you to find them funny.

Think that just because you're working in the establisment they've just walked into, you actually give a flying fart in space about them, their problems, their issues, what they came in for, what their baby's momma's cousin's nextdoor neighboor's babysitter's hairdresser's opinion of the establisment is; they think that they can treat you like crap, expect you to take it with a smile, and are angry when you don't.

Believe because it's not their house, they don't have to clean up after themselves.

Think that "there are people who are paid to do this" when in reality, there is no special position open to unclog toilets and pick random cigarette butts and pieces of paper up off the floor, no matter what universe you live in.

Think they're always right, you're always wrong, and because they are simple the best customer in the world, they deserve everything for free.

Think that it's okay to hit on you to try and get what they want.

Lie about calling ahead and become "angry" when you do not have their name on the list.

Try and weasel their way into getting seated sooner.

Ask how much longer it will be for them to wait, after waiting for ten minutes. Do the math people!

Complain that they've been waiting long than they really have.

Shift the blame to you for their stupidity, incompetence, or total ignorance of anything outside their range of comprehension.

Believe that they are never in the wrong no matter what they do, it's always one of the employees' fault. (Yeah, it's the employee's fault that you ordered steak instead of chicken like you "really wanted" when you really just changed your mind after the server took your order and felt you could get a free meal out of it!)

Uggh

2005-08-21T01:14:00.000-04:00

Oy, you name something that guests do that gets on my nerves and it probably happened today (except self-seating, I don't think anyone did that...).

The oldest toilet in the building needed unclogging because some jerk decides that she needed to use a whole roll of toilet paper. So that took about twenty minutes before it was flushing normally. Luckily, and there was something good about it, it didn't happen while we were busy, it was almost time to close actually, so it wasn't like I was desperately needed during the twenty minutes I was fighting grossness.

People weren't satisfied with the seat I gave them to begin with, even though we ask a bazillion questions about their seating preference, and either moved themselves or asked to be moved.

Large parties did not call ahead.

People go in the wrong door.

People think they're funny with a joke I hear at least twice every time we go on a wait.

People call and hang up before I'm done my schpeal because they've dialed the wrong number. (lol, I think the phone ran like 10 times before I got to it one time tonight, and before I'd even said my name the person had hung up)

We had one party of 10 come in, without calling ahead of course, and after I tell the first guy in the party how long it's going to be (30-45 minutes), this other foreign one comes up to me and starts saying stuff like, "I know you'll do it in less time Baby Girl", "I know how you feel", "I know you trying to do your job", "I know it won't be that long", "I know something will blow up and we can sit down" (I kid you not, he said "blow up"!), and being all flirty or something while he was saying all that. It was almost got to the point where I wanted to say something to him! I wanted to step back (away from him) and say, "Excuse me, I don't know you and you don't know me, please do not call me by any pet names and keep this professional". Except the way I wanted to say it would have not sounded quite so polite.

After waiting about ten or fifteen minutes, they decide that it's going to be too long of a wait for them and they hand me their pager and leave. Five minutes later, back in comes Mr. Flirtateous, and starts asking if he decides to stay, can he have the same number. I had no idea what he was talking about when he was saying "the same number" and he mentioned something about eating alone and then everybody was waiting outside, finally, the other hostess figured out that he was talking about his pager number. He must have thought that the number on it meant when he was going to be sat, not that it was just some random number we page (which would actually make sense, but not very practical with the pagers we have).

When we paged the party, I had one of the other hostesses escort them to the table while I was putting information on the wait list (other people's names and stuff like that), when I feel the foreign guy bump into me! He had to have done it on purpose because there was plenty of room between me and the nearest wall for him to walk between. He acutally bumped into me, not just brushed me as he walked by, he actually messed up what I was writing! Thankfully, after we got them seated (in about twenty minutes thank-you-very-much), I didn't hear anything from any of them again. I asked their server later if they were okay and she said they were, except for that one guy..."he was kinda wierd"...
hehe, "kinda" is putting it lightly...he was downright creepy. he had to have been at least twice my age!

It never fails, when the restaurant is closing down for the night, people think that the entire restaurant is still open to be sat in. I suppose that they think it all gets cleaned after everybody leaves. Anyway, everyone always asks to sit in the closed section on the same night! I'll go weeks without more than one person a night asking me if they can sit "over there", then, like today, I'll get five or six requests to sit in closed sections. I can usually tell when that night is coming too, I'm not sure how, but if I were to give into everyone who asked, the closing server would have no tables in their own section, then, when people come in and want to sit down (in non-smoking) and I say it's full, they're like "huh? Doesn't look full to me". It's harder to explain to people that sections are closed and there's only one server on when tables are spread out over the entire restaurant.

I want a new job, but I think sometimes that I might miss it. I don't know. I found my summer job so boring, the only interesting customers were the ones yelling at you. Call me crazy, but I think I would miss the chaos sometimes when I'm bored. I think I thrive on chaos, pressure, and stress. I don't think so at the time, but when I look back on it, I kinda like it. Maybe it's because it's all I've ever really known for a job, maybe it's because I just don't want to leave my comfort zone, I don't know. I'm just rambling now so I'll end this post...

Notible Customers - Part III

2005-08-19T21:31:00.000-04:00

Yes, these customers are so unique, and so utterly annoying, that they get their own Notible Customer post! Read on!

The PITA Party...

At the beginning of the summer, we started to have a live trivia game in the bar every Thursday night from 8:30-10:30. Every so often, this trivia game becomes part of a local, multi-bar trivia tournament, with a "trivia bowl" and everything. Trivia is an annoyance to most of the staff at our restaurant, the DJ is loud, annoying, obnoxious, etc. The guests who come in to play trivia, take up multiple tables and only buy beer, hoping to win free appitizers rather than buying food themselves. The bar area doesn't concern the hostesses really, but when larger parties come to play trivia and don't want to sit in the bar, i.e. because they have kids or they don't like smoke, then it concerns us. The one party in particular that none of us like, is the PITA party (Pain In The A$$). Thankfully, so far, they've really only come in for the tournament.

The PITA party has usually around 8 to 10 people, children included, and they never want to sit in the bar. Ever. The past tournament, the first I've been there for, was a particularly busy season for the restaurant. Thursday nights were almost like Friday nights with the number of people that would come in to eat. The PITA party comes about an hour or so before the trivia game starts so they can have dinner and feed the kids, so not only are they taking up at least two tables for the two hours trivia is in play, they're taking up two tables for an additional hour during peak dinner hours just because they can. We're always telling people that we have call-ahead seating available, though nobody ever seems to quite grasp the concept, and this particular party eventually learned that they had to call ahead if they didn't want to wait. They like many others, however, did not ever grasp the whole concept of call-ahead seating.

Before they figured out that they could call ahead, they would just show up with 8 or 10 people and expect to be seated right away simply because they thought they somehow deserved it. They would always have one of their children check (unless they were really ticked off because they had to wait, then you got Mean Lady or Mr. A-Hole, the ringleaders) and see "how much longer" it was going to be for their party and never really be satisfied with an answer unless it was "you're next so it will be just a moment". For some reason, they always felt entitled to special treatment, though none of us ever figured out why, it wasn't like they were our best customers or anything, and frequent asked for one of our managers in particular (not the GM). I guess they felt like he was being really nice and friendly towards them and making them feel special, or they just felt cool 'cause they knew his name and if they complained enough he did stuff for them.

After they figured out we had CAS, they got especially mean about it. Mean Lady would always call ahead one to two hours before they arrived and not give the poor hostess who answered the phone time to get a word in edgewise. If we would try to explain that we don't do CAS when we're not on a wait, she would snap "I know that but I'm giving you my name anyway" and hang up, after she gave us the name, number of people, and what time they would be coming in. Eventually, I learned to tack on an extra half hour, forty-five minutes, to an hour to what time they gave us because they never showed up at the time they gave us. Probably had something to do with the whole "we're special" attitude they seemed to have. That, and I think they thought that we "reserved" tables for them as soon as they called so they could show up anytime they pleased, that's what they seemed to expect (for no valid reason) anyway. Whenever they would arrive, and we didn't have a table set up and waiting for them (which we did on occaison if we could), they would pout around at the bar (outside if it was nice) and make comments to each other like, "I don't understand this, we called ahead", "If we called ahead we should have a table waiting", "We should talk to *manager's name* about this", etc. etc. You would think, that after coming in week after week after week, and having the same stuff, that is sooo bad, happen to them, they would figure out to either give us an accurate arrival time, call closer to the time their coming, or something along those lines. But, of course they didn't, because that would just make too much sense and be too logical for them.

PITA gives us no trouble after they're at their table, but boy you do not want to tick them off while they were waiting because they're out to make their wait a miserable time for the hostesses and anybody else that came near them. I might not mind them so much if they would at least smile once in a while. The guy usually does, and he's not all that bad, if you keep him happy. But his wife is a trip...she looks like she's in a constant bitch mode or something. I don't think I've ever seen her smile at any of our staff ever. They aren't nice at all though. They complain to our district manager whenever they get a chance (when he stops by for a "visit") over stupid little things that could happen to anyone. Apparently, ONCE they were misquoted a wait time and thought it necessary to bring it to our DM's attention. With all the times they've come in and waited, being misquoted once is an exceptionally good job on the hostesses part, but do they tell our DM that? Of course not. Any chance they get to pick us apart and try for free food, they go for it. I prefer Salmon Guy to these people! At least he doesn't complain about every little thing he can think of to our district manager!

Where do these people get off thinking they're better than every other guest that comes through our doors? Where do they get off thinking that they can treat the hostesses and wait staff like crap and whine and complain to the manger everytime some small mistake occurs? Would it kill Mean Lady to smile once in a while? (I personally, though, think that her face stuck that way a long time ago) What happened that made them think that they deserve special treatment? What makes them think we'll throw the rules out the window for them, and hold tables for them all night while we breathlessly await their arrival? Is it just because they bring money into the restaurant? Because, as much as they probably wouldn't believe it, the restaurant would continue to do good, even great business without their money. What really irks me is that we hostesses still have to open the door for them and smile so they get the impression that we like them and want them to come back. We're not allowed to talk back or defend ourselves, that would probably get us fired (not me, I'd have to do a heck of a lot to get myself fired, they need me too much), we can't explain to the manager what happened while they're listening (they'll contradict or disagree on details), we just have to sit there and take whatever crap they decide to give us.

We have to grin and bear it, just like everything and everyone else.

Notable Customers - Part II

2005-08-16T20:30:00.000-04:00

Mr. $100 Pair of Sunglasses...

So this girl calls up one night at work and I happen to be the lucky one that answers the phone. She says that she and her boyfriend “ate there the other night and he left his sunglasses”. They had called earlier in the week and someone told them that they still had them. So, apparently, instead of coming and getting the sunglasses when she called before, she decided to wait a couple of days and call again to see if they were still there. I put her on hold, searched the hostess desk, go find a manager and ask if there are any sunglasses in the office, manager says “no”, go back up front, pick up the phone and tell her that we can’t find any sunglasses of her description anywhere. She then asked me if I was sure because “those are hundred dollar sunglasses”. Okay, I know she couldn’t see me search the desk (or anywhere really), but I was gone a while, but I don’t like people questioning my competence or honesty. I assured her that we couldn’t find the sunglasses anywhere.
An hour or so later, the boyfriend comes in. He tells me his girlfriend called a while ago and asked about the sunglasses. I tell him the same thing I told his girlfriend. He tells me the same thing his girlfriend told me, “those are hundred dollar sunglasses”, and asks me to check. I check the hostess desk again, making a lot of movement and moving things around so he could see that I really was looking, and there’s not much to our hostess desk. I tell him they aren’t there, he asks me to check the office. I go and find a manager to open the office, we look in the office, the only pair of sunglasses we find are a pink pair that don’t match the description he gave me. I go back up front and give him the same report, no sunglasses. He asks “could you check again? Those are hundred dollar sunglasses.” I look again, because the customer is suppose to always be right. I’m sure that if he has me check the desk enough times the sunglasses will magically appear and he’ll be happy because he didn’t really waste a bunch of money on something that is easily lost. Again, I tell him there are no sunglasses and he leaves not so happy. He might have talked to a manager, but it happened so far back I can’t remember if he did or not. I just remember telling people, when I told them about this guy, that he just shouldn’t have spent so much money on a freakin’ pair of sunglasses! I have a pair from the dollar store that do the job just fine and I love ‘em.

We’ll Work It Out When We Get There...

On a Friday night, not particularly busy and not a very long wait, we get a call. This woman has a party of 8 people and they want to sit in smoking. The hostess who was talking to the woman explained that the bar was pretty busy and it was all seat yourself, so she would have a tough time finding space for 8 people. The hostess asked the woman if she would just like to put her name on the wait list for nonsmoking for call ahead seating, but the woman declined, saying, “No, we’ll work it out when we get there.” I shook my head when the hostess told me that she said that.
“Well then she better not whine and complain when she wants nonsmoking and has to wait at least forty-five minutes for it.”

About a half an hour or so later, the party came in. They told us it would be about 8, they wanted smoking, and they had called a little while ago. While we knew that they had called a little while ago, their name wasn’t on the list because they didn’t tell us to put it on the list, they wanted to wait and see when they arrived. On top of that, they took one look at the bar (the smoking section) and didn’t want to sit there, but they didn’t know that the bar was all of the smoking section. They had spotted a six-top booth that we were about to seat (but didn’t because this party came through the door and needed to be dealt with) and were just about to go and cram themselves into it when we told them it was for another party.
“Isn’t that smoking?” The woman in charge asked.
“No, that’s all nonsmoking, over here in the bar is smoking.”

They then wanted to know how long it was going to be for nonsmoking (who saw that one coming?). I took a quick survey of the dinning room and, at the moment, didn’t see anything available, told them it was probably going to be about 45 minutes. Needless to say, they didn’t want to wait that long (should have put your name on the list when you called then dummy!), and were on their way out the door when I saw an open six-top booth waaaaay in the back of the restaurant. I told them that I had another six-top booth open in the back. You would think that since a few minutes before, they had voluntarily offered to cram into a six-top, that this offer would be fine. No. The woman in charge had to go and LOOK at the stupid booth! It’s the same as the other one you were about to get into genius! They took the booth though, in the end. I hoped it was because they realized that if they went anywhere else it was going to be a longer wait and they didn’t feel like doing that (they also had kids with them, which could have added to that, but all the kids came in carrying McDonalds bags!).

With a Heat Index of Over A Hundred...

This one didn’t happen to me, this was one of our other hostesses who told me about it the next day. This particular hostess, Kelly (name changed), is not a particularly big girl, you could definitely say she’s skinny, but it’s not an unhealthy skinny, she’s just thinner than most. One day, as she’s holding the door for these two guests, (an elderly woman with a walker and what was assumed to be her son who was also middle-age-looking) the guy says to her in a rude tone, “With the heat index over a hundred, and you being eighty pounds, I recommend you go and get yourself a drink of water before you wither away!”

What do you say to something like that? How is it that teasing someone because they’re skinny is okay, but if you tease someone because they’re fat, it’s offensive? If this guy had been big pounds and Kelly had said, “With a heat index of over a hundred, and you being 300 pounds, if you don’t go get some water you’re gonna have a heart attack”, he could have gotten her fired. But, since she was a skinny employee of the restaurant he was patronizing, that somehow magically gives him the right to comment on her weight, manners be damned.

I wish I could tell you that was the last of this guy, I really do, but it’s not. His mother was friendly and nice as anything, I wonder what happened to her son that made him as mean as he was. At the end of their meal, he comes up to Kelly with the little black book in his hand and demands, “What do I do with this?” It’s a common thing for people to bring us their checks, thinking they pay the hostesses for their meal and we’re hiding a cash register somewhere in our desk (even though all the servers say “I’ll take the check when you’re ready” after dropping it off at the table). Other people don’t want to leave it on the table because they think someone is going to steal their information (yeah, all of the last four digits on their credit card, whoopie), or they don’t want to leave any cash sitting on the table.

So Kelly thought maybe this guy was thinking that he paid up front, not before she noticed that he didn’t have the check for very long before coming up to her.
“Oh,” She smiled. “You can just leave that on the table and the server will get it.”
He didn’t seem to like that idea. “I don’t think so, that wouldn’t be very convenient for me because I need change. Actually, I don’t think that would be very convenient at all do you think I want to leave that much money?”
Like we can tell what’s in the book when it’s closed and being held in our faces...
“Okay, just a minute, I’ll go get your server.” Kelly replies and heads back towards the kitchen. This guy follows her as she’s going back and into the kitchen! While in the kitchen, he spots one of our managers and demands (see a pattern?), “Are you a manager?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I assume you can take care of this for me.” Says the guy as he hands the manger the check.

The manager did take care of the guy and his check and he left in a huff, though his mother was all sunshine and smiles to Kelly on their way out. Some people are just rude for no reason aren’t they?

Salmon Guy’s Evil Twin...

One of our servers who somehow ends up with Salmon Guy on a regular basis, got what she called “His Evil Twin” one day. I remember this guy too, I got his drink for him. He wanted an ice tea with the ice, not only out of the glass, in a completely different glass and he wanted it filled to the brim (with ice). He didn’t read the menu right at all, thinking for some reason that the sandwich he wanted came with a salad so instead of this salad that doesn’t come with it, he wants something else. So the server explains to him that his sandwich doesn’t actually come with a salad, but would he like the whatever-it-was-substitue anyway? Nope, of course he didn’t.

I saw him eating his sandwich later. It was a naked chicken sandwich, and I mean naked! This thing came just plain chicken on bread, and he wasn’t even eating the bread! The bread was on a completely separate plate than his chicken, which he was proceeding to cut up into small, infant-bite-sized pieces with his knife and fork and eating it that way (with his ice-tea-ice-in-a-separate-glass to drink). I’m not sure how much he tipped the server, I hope it was more than what Salmon Guy does.

A Sense of Humor

2005-08-13T00:30:00.000-04:00

I've learned, slowly and over time, that having a sense of humor is a very good thing, especially in my line of work. I took a summer job cashiering at a grocery store and it only furthered my point. People will blame you, as the person that they are looking at, for everything they find wrong with the store or are angry about. Because it's always your fault, no matter what. The food rings up a different price than they thought it was, your fault. They left their discount card at home, your fault. The special sale item that they drove across town to get is all gone (imagine that), again, your fault. No matter what it is, no matter how crazy the situation seems, it's always your fault.

People always make it more difficult for you, nothing is ever done the easiest possible way. They always take their time, assuming that you have all day just like them. It's almost guaranteed that at least one person will come through your express lane with a cart overflowing with groceries and unload half of them onto the belt before you've finished helping the customer before them; thus making it impossible to turn them away to another lane. Oh, and the ones that do that, always have to write a check, but they don't have it filled out and waiting for you. Nope, that would just make too much sense. Nor do they fill it out while you're ringing up their obsene amount of groceries (at least it's obsene for the express lane). They wait until you give them their total to whip out their checkbook and say "How much do I owe you", forcing you to repeat yourself at least one more time, which you do because you want them out of your lane. Naturally, their check doesn't want to go through the machine the first time around. Naturally, you're forced to punch all the buttons again and stick the check back into the machine, hoping desperately that it will work and you can get this annoying person out of your line! (This happened today, I'm just venting)

Mr. Courtesy Card

Then, there's people who think they know how to run a store, and proceed to tell you all about their genious ideas. Or the ones that yell at you for following rules or about management's new policy, like you made it yourself just to tick them off.
"I must have done my job because it's working, isn't it?"
Like this one guy I had. He had all of four items, which would explain why he chose my lane, and when I asked him if he had a discount card with him, he proceeded to say, "No but you swipe courtisy card" (he was also foreign, so his English wasn't perfect, unfortunately, I could still understand him).
I replied, "I'm sorry, but we don't have the courtisy card anymore, they took it away"
Which was true, I got back from vacation and found out that this was one of the things discussed at the meeting I missed. Apparently, our store has the highest courtisy card swipe number of the stores in our area, so they took the card away. Making new rules about it too. We aren't allowed to swipe our own cards for the customers and we aren't allowed to ask any of the other customers for theirs. Rediculous isn't it? I can see where the store would want to save money, but this is just nuts! The cashiers are as unhappy about it as the guests are, more so because the guests seem to think it's the cashier's fault! Anyways...

This guy said, "I want a manager" and then went on a rampage about how he was in the store every other day and how everybody knew him. How he was "in here yesterday" and got the card swiped for him then, "the rules change overnight? They different today?". How he spends $200 or $300 dollars a week in the store, and just on and on while we waited for a manger to come over (I had called for one when he asked, but of course, no one was coming to my rescue). He kept saying stuff like do this "before you kick me out of store" and "I know you want to get rid of me", and all this other crap that I had no idea where it was coming from because I had been nothing but apologizing and trying to help him. Finally, one of the main store managers happens to walk by and my guy recognizes him and asks if he has a card. The manager, not even looking at this guy, just hands me his card, I swipe it and hand it back. I almost died from smothering laughed when I saw how much the guy saved, but I didn't say anything. I just bagged his items. The guy then proceeded to tell me how to do my job when a customer tells me they don't have a card. He pointed at the application table and was saying how I should offer to get them a card and all this other BS and brought up the kicking him out of the store thing and he claimed "I know you want me out of here".

Finally, he leaves and I start ringing up the next customer. She couldn't have been more than 15 or 16 and was probably running an errand for her parents or something. When I smiled at her and said "hello" and apologized for the wait, she said,
"Jeez, my mom got a card last week and it didn't take more than 3 minutes."
"Yeah." I said. "And for all that fuss, he saved 20 cents."
After all the crap he gave me before I had a chance to offer my card or see if anyone else in line had one (I didn't know about that particular rule at that point), there was no freakin way that I was going to give him a break and let him use my card!

Too Many Scans

I had another lady who grabbed the wrong ice cream one day. Bryer's was on sale as "buy one get one free", there were signs everywhere, huge signs too, and this woman grabbed two Edy's. When I scanned the first one, among her other groceries, she was watching the screen to see what price it came up as, and when it didn't come up as the right price, she promptly told me.
"No, that's not right" She said forcefully, pushing the ice cream (that was still in my hands!) back towards me...and across the scanner...
It scanned like three times before she let go and I could put it down! I had to call a manager to void it because it was over the amount I'm allowed to do without an override. Boy did this woman look ticked when I called for manager assitance though! I think it was worth the trouble she gave me! She was mad and it wasn't anybody's fault but her's because she grabbed the wrong ice cream and she shoved it across the scanner because she thought she knew better than me and the computer!

"Next time wait!"

Then, on the same day as Mr. Courtesy Card, only earlier, I got a woman who seemed to think that she also had the right to tell me how to do my job. Now, usually, when I'm entering the money they've given me into the computer, I hit the numbers fast, but I wait before I actually finish it up, just in case they have change that they want to give me. Most people will look around for change so they don't end up with more coins, or they tell me before hand that they might have the change. This woman handed me a twenty dollar bill (her total was something like $15.16) and waited until I punched in the numbers, pushed the "cash" button, popped the drawer open, and started counting her change before she decides that she has change and wants to give it to me because she doesn't want anymore. When I told her that it was already in the computer and I couldn't change it now, she gave me this deer in the headlights look, like I had three heads or something. When it finally registered in her head what I had said and why i wasn't taking her coins, why I was giving her more in fact, she said, in a very rude and condesending tone, "Well next time you should wait."

Um, last time I checked, this was the express lane and I'm suppose to get customers in and out. Fast is a good thing. If you didn't want more change, you should give me the coins before I punch in the numbers like the rest of the population, not wait until the last second after you've watched me enter everything. Figure out what the hell you're doing before you start to get off telling me how to do my job.

In Conclusion

So, yeah, I've learned that if you've got a sense of humor, if you can learn to laugh about the customers after they leave, you have a much less stressful time at work. If you can laugh, and not take anything personally, you can actually get through life pretty well too. I'm a firm believer in the fact that you really do need a sense of humor to get through life, it really is much easier to live and laugh at people and yourself.

Proof of Customer Stupidity, No It's Not Just Me...

2005-07-04T12:41:00.000-04:00

If you think that maybe I'm just not enjoying my job, or picking out all the customers that tick me off or whatever, here's a post to prove that it's not just me. Stupid customers are universal, in every country around the world. As if the rest of the working world needed proof, this is mostly for my own amusement...

Copied From

Is this an 800 number? (after dialing 1-416-xxx-xxxx)

(customer at staples office superstore) HI sir do you sale staples.

Do you have my size in this? (in a shoe store... what am I a mind reader, I get asked this at least 5 times a day.)

When you stop an employee that is running down the aisle you're probably a disturbance. If he's running for some reason that reason is usually a good one.

When you order your food then complain about it and have them bring you back another plate 75% of the time they're bringing you back out the same plate of food. You seem perfectly content with it.

No matter how flirty the cashier appears to be to you she doesn't want you in any way.

How big is your 12", 14",16" pizza?

What time do you close? (In a 24 hour store)

What time does your midnight buffet start?

Can you download classical music on these MP3 players?

(in a auto parts store) Do you sell brake pads?

How much ink do I use when I print white?

Are you not accepting my check because you're gay and I'm not?

What comes on your pepperoni pizza?

What does salt added mean?

Which one is the Sprite? (With a coke and sprite on the counter.)

(At a pet store) "Is this all the guinea pigs you have?" (No, we have some packed in boxes in the back for if we run out...DUH)

When I go to the bank machine in Israel, will it give me American money or the local currency?

(At an amusement park): "The safety regulations are just for the kids, right?"

Why did they build the caverns so far from town? (or the other option)

(at a caverns national park) How much of the caves haven't been discovered yet?

(Standing in frozen food section looking at frozen pies) Can those be frozen?

Do tv's break?

(at a dairy cone) yeah I got food tonight it was wrong can I come back tomorrow and get it made over?

"Why won't this play in my CD player?" (Holding up a DVD disc.)

"Do you have any disposable digital cameras?" (I've honest to God been asked this.)

Do you have that Playstation game on VHS?

What's in the icecubes?

This is (and will quite possibly forever remain)the dumbest question ever asked in a record store: "Do you guys sell milk?"

Do you think the pet shop next door would let me refund this fish tank?

What is the difference between your coffee and tea?

On a HOT Fudge sundae is the hot fudge hot?

This says days for cd, is it next day?

What is the difference between a disk and a cd?

(in a tattoo/piercing shop) "I got my tounge/navel/hoohaa pierced today, should it be swollen/bleeding?"

If I eat everything off of my plate except for one BABY shrimp I deserve a full refund right?

Can I have (insert dish name) for free? Because I'm like the best customer in the ENTIRE world.

If I order the cheapest thing on the menu will you throw in a free soup, free appetizer, free egg roll, and a free drink with it?

Does the chicken fried rice have pork in it?

Does the shrimp fried rice have shrimp in it?

What do you mean by clear?....In the paint department when asking about floor sealers

I broke this, can I have a discount?

"Am I being arrested?" (as I handcuff them.)

Do you have a dvd rewinder?

Do you take expired coupons?

What's in the lemon filled doughnut?

What's in a bacon egg and cheese sandwich?

"I bought a box of chicken nuggets yesterday and when I ate them the next day they were horrible. Can you give me some fresh ones today?"

So what do you mean by unlimited hours and unlimited downloads?

(While working in a gas station while it was raining hard) "Why did you make all this rain?” (I'm sorry I forgot that I was in control of the weather)

I forgot to exchange all my money for American dollars..can't you just make an exception and accept these francs?

"Is the one in the skirt a women’s toilet?"

Can you look up the phone numbers of the other pizza places in town to I can see if they have a better deal?

Are these prices in dollars?

Do you have pumpkin seeds without the shell? (Without the pumpkin...??)

These potatoes tasted AWFUL! (customer holds up a bag of seed potatoes)

Are the red seedless grapes seedless?

How do I get out of here? (The store's not THAT big)

Are these last year's carrots?

Why don't you sell me a winning ticket this time?

What do your meatballs look like? (They were right in front of him. )

(While pulling something out of a cooler) Is this cold?

Do you carry edible plates?

(In any liquor store) Do you carry Bud?

How much fat is in the NON FAT yogurt?

(At a restaurant) Customer : Is there any meat in the VEGGIE Burger?

Gee, are you busy? (there's a lineup of 10 people and every table is taken)

Are refills free? (on a huge latte with about 10 customizations)

(While working at a coffee shop) Do you have any coffee?

(While working in a store called calendar club) Do you sell posters/post cards/greeting cards/ beany babies/books/plants?

Is it the Canadian price or the American one? (The store is in Canada)

(While working in a store called calendar club) How much is this? (all prices are marked clearly on the back) followed immediately by "would you read it to me?"

(While working in a store called calendar club) Is this a calendar? (no, it's a banana, you wandered into a fruit stand in disguise)

(While working in a store called calendar club) Are these records/CDs/books? (i've been asked all of these and more)

(While working in a store called calendar club) Where are your calendars!?

What does Frozen mean in a Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri?

Are your milk shakes made with ice-cream?

Are your omelet's made with eggs?

Is your chicken parmesan made from chicken?

"Am I holding you late?" (at 8:30 ..when the store closed at 8:00)

"If my mouse cursor is at the top of the screen, how do I move it down if my mouse is at the bottom of the mouse pad?"

My nephew is 6 years old. What size would he be? DUH!!! (Every kid is different. I have seen six year olds in a kids size 1 and others in a men's )

What do you have in a size 10? (Like I memorized EVERY shoe in the back room.)

(Holding a shoe) "Do you have this in my size?" -Like I know their size just by looking at them.

(In a Book Store) For how many days can I check out books?

What's the best knife? (sir, we stock 15,000 different knives for 5000 different uses. What the hell are you USING it for? Cutting carpet? Beheading enemy sentries? Whittling toothpicks?)

Is this real? (While handling a sword) (no, it's a tactile hallucination, and you're in a strait jacket)

Are these swords sharp? (I reply: Put your head on the table)

Can you put a power cord on this wireless guitar transmitter so I don't have to use batteries? (Sure. But then it won't be wireless, will it?) But you could do it? (yes, but it's cheaper just to use a 1/4" cord ). Yeah, but wireless is cool!

A caller calling a corporate travel agency -- "Can you tell me the route of the St. Patrick's Day Parade (in New York)?"

Why do I need a credit card and valid driver's license to rent a car?

"You close at 9:00pm right? I can't get out there until 9:30 . could you stay open until I get there?"

"What time does the 8:00 show start?" at a theater Box office.

"Do I have to wait in line, even though I am only getting this one thing?" Well, I couldn't care either way, but these 20 people ahead of you might have something to say!

"Can I get cash back if I use my atm card?" "Yes, up to 50 dollars. How much would you like back?" "Can I get 60?" Yes, I get this all the time!

"Which brand of adult diapers is better?" Well, seeing how I am only 19, I haven't had that problem yet!

"How long will it take to develop my film in the one hour service?"

(During a town-wide power outage, store's dark, doors locked with big signs on them saying "CLOSED- NO POWER") Customers knocking on the door, peering in, 'Are you open?'

(While I'm alone on a register with no other employees to help me) 'Why don't you open more registers?' Well, gee, why didn't I think of that? I'll just get a nonexistent employee to open up that register and we'll move the lines right along *mutter*

'I bought this at another store, can I get it replaced here?'

Your advertisement says no credit card necessary to register. Does that mean you will need my American Express number?

Will your software work on Windows 96? (or even 97!?!?)

How much does your Totally Free Internet Service cost?

While "Independence Day" is playing on the display TV, the bright scene where the cities are being destroyed: "Is this a color TV?" (I replied: No, it's a color VCR)

How many pieces come in the two piece dinner?

Customer calls directory assistance and says "Yes, I was wondering, what time do the buses stop running tonight?" (customer is in a different city)

Customer calls directory assistance and says "Can I get a phone number here?"

When walking in to a crowded restaurant on a Sunday morning. Is this a restaurant? Can we get something to eat here?

(At an A & W drive thru) Can I get a big mac and a quarter pounder with cheese?

(at the lost and found, when told an item is not in the office) "Where is it then?"

(In Canada) "Are these prices in American?"

(At a ski resort) How do they get the snow to the top of the hill?

I don't have a photo ID. Can you use my drivers' license?

Why do you need to see my photo ID in order to cash a $200.00 check?

"Can you tell me where ya' keep the internet paper?"

(with a huge, lime green, brightly lit, sign outside that says "ATM quickcash" and the machine to the immediate right as you walk in) Hey! Do you have an ATM?

(Said at resort in Alberta) what time do you let your wildlife out at?

My computer doesn't have an AGP slot, can I still use an AGP video card?

My roof was leaking and water went into my monitor. Why doesn't it work now?

Will you be getting this item back in? (when it is clearly marked CLEARENCE)

What is the difference between 168pin memory, 72pin memory and 30pin memory? (hmmmmm let me think)

(5:15; bookstore closes at 5:30) Where are your books on rhesus monkey? What do you mean you don't have any?

If it doesn't have a price sticker, is it free?

"My child is deathly allergic to tomato sauce. So, I want this pizza with just half sauce on it." (what about when we cut through it with the cutter? Won't it kill him?)

"Do you have a discount for being put on hold?"

"What does the $3 popcorn cost?"

"What's playing?" (on the phone, asking someone who answers calls for an entire theatre chain - - incidentally, the dope probably get the number from the newspaper where the phone number is displayed amongst prominent advertisements for what's playing)

"What's playing?" (standing by a 10 foot wide by 6 foot high display advertising the current feature outside a single-auditorium cinema)

"Why are there no matinees at the drive-in?"

"What time does the 7:00 show start?"

"Is the Beef N Cheddar Kosher?"

When not in Canada "Do you take Canadian money?"

At the drive through: "Can I have that to go?"

"What kind of cheese is on a Beef N Cheddar?"

Do I need a computer to use your software?

The Internet is running too slow. Could you reboot it please?

I'd like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?

Do you need the actual roll of film or can you just make the pictures from my camera that I took them with?

Had a customer pick up a Polaroid once and say "excuse me, is this a camera?"

That ready-mix cement... is it for cement?

Do you sell metal thinner?

Does this checkmark next to brown mean that the light is brown?

I didn't know if they were standard, or if they were all the same?

Do you sell travel urinals?

uhh, can we bring our beer in here? (in a clothing store)

I was in here two months ago and you told me the name of a good movie to rent....what was it called?

What comes with a side of fries?

This version of the Matrix DVD is in widescreen.....How wide does my T V have to be to be able to see it?

I work in a bird store. Favorite question: "Do you know anything about birds?"

Do they make Microsoft games for the nintendo dreamstation?"

Do you have that movie with that guy from that kid's tv show? You know the one, with the girl and the guy and they do the thing. Why don't you understand of what movie I'm talking about? (HELLO!!!!!!!Isn't it obvious??)

I work in a cafe. One day a lady with a distraught look on her face comes in and asks, "Excuse me, do you have coffee?"

Do you sell a parmesan cheese shaker in the shape of a rat?

(Standing in store, hands on hips) What do you sell?

(At in information booth in Maui, asked by a woman old enough to know better) She: Where are the whales? Me, incredulously: Uh...in the ocean? She: Oh, really? Isn't there an aquarium where we can see them? (Humpbacks, mind you)

Where are your kidney gifts?

"How many donuts are in a dozen?" (Or the variant. "I want a dozen donuts. How many do I get with that?")

What's the difference between a frozen margarita and a regular one?

Calling video rental "Got any thing good in?" or "Do you have ____ in?" (when it hasn't even been released in theatres yet.)

Me: ____ International, how may I help you? Customer: Yes do you deliver packages to other countries?

What is the difference between a hard shell lobster and a soft shell lobster?

Customer: What are Your hours?
Me: We are open from 8 a.m. until 10 p.m.
Customer: O'Clock?

Are you open? (when the lights are off and I have keys in hand ready to lock the door and leave)

Your apple pies... are those pies, or are they sandwiches?

Five yards? how long is that?

Is flat white shinier than gloss white?

Me: "Hello, (name of store) Videos."
Them: "Yeah, uh...do you rent videos?"

(In a deli) How hard is your salami? (Can't say that one too loud. Ya never know what people will think you mean :) )

"Is this my bus?" (How am I supposed to know where you want to go?)

(To the driver of a bus full of passengers, which has just pulled up to a bus stop) "Oh honey, are the busses running today?"

Where are your telephones and microwaves? (When you work in a dollar store)

How come I can't get this out-of-order machine to work?

What do you mean I can't upgrade my 286 to use a DVD player?

What do you mean you can't install this program on one of your computers so I can see if I like it?

Where does the film go in the digital camera?

Can I deposit cash at the ATM without my ATM card?

How long are those yardsticks?

(In a pet store) Do you work in the pet department?

You know stainless screws? Are they supposed to be rust proof?

From the mainland: "Can we drive to Hawaii from California?"

"Is your Sunset Dinner Cruise on a boat?" followed by: "is there any meal on there?"

(In Hawaii) "You look awful white. Are you sure you live here?"

"Can I get tickets to the lua?" ("Lua" is the Hawaiian word for toilet. They mean "luau".)

Can you call up so and so (your competitor) and ask them what they have on sale and how late they are open till? (yes someone actually asked me this)

Why do you need to see my drivers license? (when they write you a freakin check for $3000+) grow up people

Why do you close at 8PM? (ummm because I have a life and want to go home)

On the phone: "I got caught for shoplifting a year ago. Can I come back and shop yet?"

Can you tell me where you have drill bits? Ahh! (Points at cement and walks away.)

What kind of brush do I need for this paint? (Holds up a spray can)

Do you take cash?

How much will a 5 gal tank hold?

What color are your blue tarps?

Can I order from the menu?

How can you legally sell buffalo wings, don't you know that they are extinct?

What kind of deal can you give me on this? (pointing to something already on sale)

Me: Thank you for calling "Store Name" how may I help you? Them: Is this "Store Name"?

This says Windows 95 or 98, does this mean it will only work on computers made in 1995 or 1998?

"Do you have Windows 95 for Sony Playstation?

Is this on sale? (Yeah like I memorize the circular and everything that is on sale in every department.)

Me: answer phone " ____ CD store can I help you?"
Them : Do you sell Beanie Babies?

(clearance sale of Item A): Do you have any more in the back?

I bought this item 6 years ago. I don't have a receipt and I'm not even sure if I bought it here. Can I get a cash refund?

Where's the electronic department? (When they're standing in it)

Do you work here?

Is this phone y2k compliant?

Me: Hello (company name), open till 6 how may I help you? Them: Uumm yes, can you tell me what time you're open till?

How much is a ninety-nine cent cheeseburger?

What comes on that one topping pizza?

(in a restaurant) Do you know where the bathroom is? (nope, I’ve worked here for six months and that’s the one thing I haven’t found yet...)

My Bubble

2005-06-27T01:30:00.000-04:00

It's my bubble, not yours, so stay out!

We all have our own personal bubbles, it's the little space that's all the way around our bodies that we hate when people invade it. Guess what? Hostesses have them too! Not only do I have a bubble, but I also, like many, hate having it invaded by people I don't know time after time after time after time...

This falls under the whole respect thing too. This mostly happens when we're on a wait and I'm running the board (that's what we call the wait list). A guest walks in, makes eye-contact with me when I greet them (sometimes) then their eyes dart down to the wait list and stay there while I'm talking to them. The eyes only come back up to mine (sometimes) when they have something to say to me, like their name or asking a question ("30 minute wait on a Saturday night, you're kidding right?", umm, why would I joke about that? Honestly, some people are just so desensitized to waiting because of microwaves and fast food restaurants). I just hate it when people walk through the door, stand right next to me and my desk (which is my working area) and stare at all the names on the wait list while I'm speaking to them, asking how many in their party and their seating preference (smoking or non, I'm on the east coast, we're working on that whole non-smoking indoors thing). They answer me, but not without taking their eyes off the board like the names will magically disappear if they stare at it hard enough.

Really! They look at the board like they know what they're looking at, or maybe they're checking to see if I write down the times that all the guests come in and sit down (I do both), I don' t know if they think they know what they're doing or if they know what to do with all the numbers they're looking at (pager number, number in party, time in, wait quote, table number, time sat) or what. It just bugs the hell outta me because it's like them saying that, first of all, I don't deserve their eye contact when I'm speaking to them, and, second of all, like I don't know what I'm doing and they feel the need to double check my work. Other guests, who's names I have already taken, will come up and just stand there, staring at the list, counting the names in front of theirs, and then get indignent when they see names below theirs crossed off. This is the reason I never completely cross off names, I always leave it so you can read all the information (where they sat down, when, or if they left or went to the bar) just in case a trying-to-complain-to-get-sat-sooner guest comes up. This way, I can easily explain that this guest decided not to wait and this one found a seat in the bar. Do I get an apology or anything? Of course not, I get that "oh" (that everybody who's ever worked with cutomers knows) like it's a substitute for an apology.

If you want to know how much longer until you get sat down, please just ask and don't get all up in my space to find out. Or, you could check your watch and figure, "well, we came in about 20 minutes ago, and she told us it was going to be 45 minutes, so...", but no one actually does that, nobody can do mental math anymore. I wish I had a dollar for each guest that came up and asked how much longer it was going to be when they'd only been waiting half the time I told them. Another thing, look the hostess (or host) in the eye when they are talking to you. Just because they work at a restaurant does not make them any less of a person and it does not mean that they automatically have no idea what they're doing. I've been working in restaurants since I was sixteen, I know how to be a good hostess. I don't appreciate people assuming that I have no idea what I'm doing just because I look younger than they are. I don't appreciate people thinking that just because I work in a restaurant, it's okay to treat me like crap or ignore me altogether. And I don't appreciate people (guests, managers are another story) who try to tell me how to do my job when they really have no idea how this particular restaurant works (I have a previous post about a lady with a party of five who had to wait for a big booth and was mad at me because we didn't have any ready for her when she walked in the door, like she called ahead to let us know she was coming anyway, she probably would've been even more ticked off...anyway...). I've worked at more than one restuarant and I don't even know how every single restaurant does every little thing, so don't think you, a guest who has never needed to work in a restaurant for your whole life, knows everything or anything about how we do things at my restuarant. Some restaurants do call-ahead seating, some don't, some only do it for large parties (8 or more), some only seat larger parties if the entire party is on the premises, etc. Don't think that you know how each and every restaurant works in every microscopic way.

Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you, you expect me to do the same when it's you that's talking, don't you? How would you like it if I was staring out the window while you were talking to me? Or what if I was on the phone while you were trying to put your name down, how would you like that? I'm giving up my free time to work a job that isn't always the greatest, and yeah, there's always "someone else" that could be taking care of you, but eventually, we're gonna run out of "someone else"s. Eventually, if guests keep treating people like crap, all the "someone else"s are going to be either 14 and throw a fit every time someone yells at them or barely capible of speaking English so they need 2 people to cover the register because their combined English is better than each one individually. Eventually, those people are going to be the only ones that are going to take the kind of crap some guests dish out for the kind of money that they're being paid. Are you going to like that even better than a 19-year-old college student who's been hostessing for going on 2 years and knows what she's doing? Just like I thought, you'd rather have the 19-year-old college student (more mature than a 14-year-old) who can speak perfect English (and could probably give you a run for your money grammar-wise) and has more experience than most of the other hostesses put together, right? Well guess what, that's me folks! And if you'd like to keep the older, more mature, English-speaking restuarant employes, you'd better learn to be nicer and pay them a little more respect.

What's a way you can respect me as a hostess? Stay out of my bubble! If you would like to know something about the wait, please ask me, don't just assume you'll find out by staring at the list. Don't look at the last name on the list, see what I quoted them, and ask why your wait will be longer. Because you have a frickin' party of 8 and that'll require two tables! Or, because so many people are coming in at once and I can't tell them all the same thing because it'll take time to seat them all. After getting about four names consecutively on the list with more on the way in, I up the wait quote because I know we can't seat 15 names in 20 minutes, it just ain't gonna happen! Believe me, we (the hostesses) wish it could because that would me less people for us to deal with, but it's just not something we can do.

Bottom Line: If you haven't read any part of this post, this is the part to read. Basically, stand at least two feet away from me, look me in the eyes when I'm speaking to you, answer intelligently in full sentences, and do not look at the wait list like you know what you're looking for. The wait list and restaurant itself are my domain and you are a guest, so please behave as one!

People Are Particularly Stupid Today

2005-06-19T22:52:00.000-04:00

Ugh, such a sucky day at work. It seems the majority of our clientel is composed of idiots, red necks, rude people who'll do anything for free food, etc. The toilet (yes, the same one!) was clogged twice today and guess who had to plunge it? It seemed like both times there was a half of a roll of TP in there! Why are people so obsessed with using obsene amounts of TP? It's not like it really helps anything, germs travel no matter what and they're so tiny and you touch to many things in a day, it's impossible to know where you pick up germs that make you sick. I seriously want to find out who clogged the toilet and visit their houses and clog their toilets to see how they like it! I'm going to visit their house and sit wherever I want, touch whatever I want, go wherever I want, let my kids (my hypothetical kids) run amuck and throw food on the floor, I'm going to make them run around like crazy, I'm going to complain about every little thing, and I'm not going to clean up any of this mess that I make.

Honestly, why can't people behave at restaurants as they would at a friend's house or the White House for that matter. You don't do any of this stuff if you're visiting the White House. If you are a guest in some prestigious guy's house, you don't do any of the things that I've seen so many people do at a restaurant. Yet, even though they are still in public, and still not in their own homes, people still think that they can do as they please.

But I have found that shifts can be good or bad, it all depends on how you make them. You could have an interesting or funny conversation with a guest and it just brightens up the rest of your day; or you could let the sucky guests get to you and let them totally ruin what you've got left of a shift. I could have a really bad shift one day but the next time I come in, I have a great time. Your shift is what you make of it, if you laugh with fellow employees or guests, if you can make a little kids happy by sneaking them something extra special just for them (i.e. extra toy or something), if you make someone else happy just by smiling at them, all these things can change a day for the better. If you're grumpy when you go in, if you remember every nasty comment a guest made to you, or how much they ran you all over the restaurant trying to find a table they liked, if you hold on to every time someone *yells* at you, you probably aren't going to have a good shift. As much as I hate repeating this (because it's what my boss is always telling us), but I've found that it can be true sometimes, choose your attitude. I'll admit though, there are somedays where you just want to choose to be grumpy, I'm having a whole week like that (I'll be working over 40 hours two weeks in a row, dedicated little hostess aren't I?), but that doesn't mean I'll let it stop me from having a good shift it one presents itself.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Guests Deserve It...And So Do I

2005-06-16T02:03:00.000-04:00

Far too many people walk into my restaurant and just plain ignore me (and the other hostesses) until I become useful to them! I wish I could just ignore them back and see how they like it, let’s see how far they get when the shoe’s on the other foot! I’m not asking for much, just a little response when I say “Hello”, or is that too much to ask?

The guest that has just walked in the door is my number one priority as a hostess. I would at least like a little head nod or something to let me know that they at least acknowledge my presence. It gets on my nerves so much! It's like they don't even have enough respect for me to acknowledge my existence or the fact that I said "hello" to them. It's right up there with people seating themselves, it's part of my job to be friendly and the first person the guest sees when they walk into the restaurant. It's my job to make them happy and comfortable, to make sure that they have a seat where they will enjoy themselves. And since it's my job, I would like to be acknowledged at least before you decide that you need me now.

So many people have just plain ignored me until they needed a seat in non-smoking or when they needed menus. They walk right by me and my cheerful "hello" and into the bar. They only come back once they realize that they don't have menus or even an open table over there. Then they need me, then they see that I exist. And only then. At that point, I don't even care where they sit 'cause I know they aren't going to talk to me willingly while I take them to a table. At that point, I just wanna hand them menus and tell them to sit wherever they frickin' want.

Cell phones too! I hate it when people can't finish their conversations before the come through the door. Because then, while they're still on the phone, I'm trying to talk to them, to see where they would like to sit, and they have this annoyed "can't you read my mind" look on their face because I'm inturrupting the conversation and they can't hear the person on the other end. This one really bugs me too! I mean, I don't answer the phone if people are walking through the door, why? Because the people in front of me take the priority. I wish people would have just enough respect for me to at least wait to keep talking until after I've put them in their table. I'm obviously making time to take care of them, is putting the phone down for two minutes too much to ask?

One of my hostesses told me a story about a patient at the denist she used to work for as an assistant. He was constantly on his cell phone, and told the dentist to wait until he had finished the call! He had scheduled his appointment and everything, but he just had to take that call. So the dentist told the secretary to make another appointment for the guy for "when he has time for me, because I've made time for him". I just can't stand to see people that self-absorbed. If the shoe were on the other foot, I'm sure that guy would've been far beyond ticked off. Why can't people realize when they're being ignorant, inconsiderate, and too self-absorbed to notice anyone else around them? Why aren't we allowed to bring this to their attention? Oh, yeah, because "The Customer Is Always Right", well I got news for ya: that statement isn't true, it's never been true, and the only reason the guy (because it was a guy, dumber than a bag of hammers guys can be) coined it to begin with was to get more customers. The customers love that phrase because it can get them practically whatever they want.

Anyway, before this turns into a rant...I give the guests that come into my restuarant at least the respect of making eye contact and talking with them. I don't call them names (well, unless they tick me off and can't hear me...), I don't ignore them, I don't seat them where they don't want to be seated, I give them everything that they want, the least they could do me is acknowledge my presence. The least they could do is say "hello" back or put the cell phone down for a second and let me do my job. I know it's just hostessing, but I still take pride in what I do and the fact that I can do it well, I still give my job (no matter what it is) everything I've got.

My fiance says I care too much (thus the reason I've been working so much these past two weeks, that and it gets my parents off my case about money and a second job), and maybe I do, but when I get into something, when I commit myself to something, I give it everything I can. I do work when I'm off the clock, I often times bring home some work with me, and I come in a lot on my days off and I work days I'm not scheduled when they need me. It's my job and I still take pride in it, even if it is "just hostessing", and I just wish people would respect that and respect me for it.

I make time to take care of them, can't they make time to say "Hi, I'm fine thanks, how are you?"

10 Commandments Concerning Hostesses

2005-06-15T00:01:00.001-04:00

The Hostess 10 Commandments:
(For Customers)

1. Thou Shalt Not Seat Thyself
Seating yourself directly refers to walking and and just picking whatever table you like. Seating yourself indirectly means a hostess is "seating" you, but really you call the shots. I wish I had a dollar for every guest that has decided they didn't like the table I was taking them to (or sat them at) and wanted another one. If the hostess puts you there, it's for a reason, deal with your issues and sit down and shut up!

2. Thou Shalt Specify Up Front
If you want a booth rather than a table, say so before the hostess starts taking you to a table. If you want to be in a certain place, by a window, away from the window, away from the bathrooms, etc., then tell the hostes that before she sits you down. So many people have come up to me, after they'd been sitting at their table for a while, and asked to sit somewhere else because of such-and-such. I grin and happily (or so appear) take them to another table. When I get back up front, where they can't see my face, I'm frustrated because they didn't tell me what they wanted to begin with and just expected me to read their minds and magically take them exactly where they wanted to sit.

3. Thou Shalt Assume The Hostesses Know What They Are Doing.
If there is a wait, but you see open tables, it is understandable to ask why the tables are open, but not understandable that you demand to sit down and not wait because you see open tables. If there are open tables but the hostesses have a wait list going, there are several possibilities. The first is that the kitchen is backed up and food is coming out late and wrong, in order to minimize mistakes and help the kitchen catch up, the hostesses may be on what is called a "kitchen wait". There is no shortage of open tables, but seating them will cause the kitchen to become even more backed up, causing even more problems with even more guests who are now very hungry and impatient. Another possibility is that the hostesses have the open tables assigned to other guests on the wait, it's just that they haven't sat them all down yet.

4. Thou Shalt Not Be Curt or Uncivil.
Being rude to the hostesses gets you nowhere, it may (in some restaurants) get you food with *special* ingrediants. It's not a very good idea to tick off someone who has acess to the food you are about to eat. If your kids have you especially irritated, that's fine, take it out on your kids, not the hostesses. The hostesses are doing their best to get you a table that will make you happy (mostly because they don't want you coming back and bugging them, but also because it's their job), there is absolutely no excuse to be rude to a person who has been nothing but sunshine and daisies to you since you walked in the door. One rude customer can ruin the rest of a shift, no matter how many nice, friendly, and funny people come in later.

5. Thou Shalt Call Ahead With Large Parties.
If you have a party of 8 or more, pleae call ahead. I cannot stress that enough. People walk in with parties of 25 and expect us to automatically have space for them (we're a small restaurant, we really don't have accomodations for parties like that) and then get impatient and even rude when we tell them they'll have to wait so we can put them at tables together. I've had parties of 20 or 25 walk in during peak hours on a Saturday night (between 6 and 9) and want to know how long ti will be. When I tell them at least an hour, they walk out. Now had they called ahead, had we had some notice, we would have been able to better prepare for a party that size. Those parties were spur of the moment, "hey let's hit a restaurant" ideas so the people didn't have the brains to think that it's dinner time on a Saturday night and that any restaurant they went to would make them wait, no matter the size.

6. Thou Shalt Not Lie, Thou Shalt Not Say 8 or 9 And Thy Grande Total Be 15 or 22
This is another thing that I can't get through people's heads (mostly because I'm not allowed to confront the guests or yet at them). They think that if they give us a lower number, we'll be able to seat them faster than if they give us the real number. Then, when the rest of their party starts trickling in, they start stealing the tables around them to accomodate their growing party.

7. Thou Shalt Be Happy Where The Hostesses Seat Thou
This is pretty self-explanatory and ties in with some others. If the hostess can't seat you where you want (i.e. all the booths are full), be happy you at least have a table. If a booth gets cleaned off 20 minutes after you sit down, don't ask to go sit in that booth, just stay where you are and be glad you at least got a table right away because the people who are going to that booth probably had to wait 20 minutes for that booth to get up and cleaned.

8. Thou Shalt Not Be Angry With The Hostesses Because Thou Art Late
"This happens every time we come at this time!", that's an easy one, then don't come at this time stupid! If we're not on a wait when you call, and don't take your name, then we're on a wait when you arrive, and this happens "every time", either come later or come earlier genius. Leave a half an hour later than usual, that way, when you call, the restaurant will be on a wait and you can put your name on the list, cutting down your in-restaurant wait time. Or, leave a half an hour earlier if possible, that way the restaurant won't be on a wait at all when you get there. Honestly, it's not rocket science people! Another thing, if you're in a semi-large party and you give an arrival time to the restaruant, show up at that time, or earlier. I've had parties that didn't come in until a half an hour after they told us they were coming and we had given their tables away because we figured they were no-shows. Don't sit in the parking lot until the time you gave the restaurant either, just come in and let them know that at least one member of the party has arrived, even if some places will only seat the whole party. It's still better for them to know that the party is coming and not no-shows.

9. Thou Shalt Not Blame The Hostesses For Thy Own Incompetence
Just the other day, I was taking a family of three and a high chair to a booth (just like they wanted I might add), when they see the booth I'm heading for, the dad goes, "No, we'll be too cramped there, can we have that big booth over there?". I say "sure" and take them over, knowing full well that two adults and two kids fit very comfortably in that "cramped" little booth I was originally taking them too. Heck, four adults fit comfortably in those four-top booths. So I sit them in the six-top booth that he had picked out (boy do I wish all the six-tops had been taken or that the last six-top was going to a party of six that had come in just after this family) and they seemed happy, for five minutes. Probably five minutes later, one of the servers (not the one who I had sat this family with) comes up and asks who's section they were sitting in. I asked why, and she said that the guy was really rude and wanted to know if she was their "waitress" and where their "waitress" was because they wanted their drinks and if their "waitress" was sooo busy they didn't want "her" (it was actually a guy that was serving that section) and why would "SHE" (meaning me, who had been all smiles to them) seat them with a server who was busy? I was like, "Ooooh, no, no, no. They are not blaming this one on me. I was taking them to a server that wasn't busy, I was taking them to a server who could have had their appitizers by now, but nooooo, 'We'll be too cramped there, we want that booth, I'm a bloody moron, blah, blah, blah'." I really wish I could say what I'm thinking to guests without getting fired for it...

10. Thou Shall Be Polite and Friendly
Have you ever noticed how much better your day goes when you're in a good mood? Have you ever noticed that if you're happy and friendly to people, they usually smile and are friendly back? Don't you get better results that way? Doesn't it make everything more laid-back and easy-going, in a good way? The same thing applies when you walk into a restaurant. Just because they work in a restaurant does not make the employees any less a person than you or anyone else. Being polite and friendly just makes everyone's day that much better. Restaurant employees catch so much crap all day long (from guests and other employees), it really is refreshing for them to talk and interact with someone who is nice and friendly. You can just brighten someone's day with just a warm smile and friendly "Hi there, how are you today?" and ruin someone's day with a scowel and a "I called ahead, I shouldn't have to wait, give me a table, let me talk to your manager!". How would you rather be remembered in some random employee's blog, as a friendly regular who the hostess just loves talking to, or being chewed out by what the hostess you were rude to with all the things she didn't say while she just smiled and took the crap you dished out?

The Customer Isn't Always Right, The Employees Just Can't Say So

2005-06-11T00:26:00.000-04:00

Have you ever demanded service because you were the customer and "the customer is aways right"? Have you ever felt that it was your right to make employees run around like chickens without heads because you were basically paying their bills? Felt that it was your duity to make sure that the manager knew you weren't happy? Felt like you were entitled to a free meal because your food didn't come out exactly as you ordered it? Do you really think that just because you tried something new and didn't like the way it tasted (even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with it), that it should be taken off your bill? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you're not going to be very happy with the rest of this post, but you are in serious need of a rude awakening and this is just the post to do it.

Most employees (not just restaurant employees!) hate the phrase "The Customer Is Always Right" and most of us would like to smack whoever coined it. Sure, it seems like a good philosophy for anybody selling something, but what about times when the customer isn't right (and believe me there are plenty of those!)? There are times when customers will do whatever it takes just to get something free. There are some customers who are not above yelling, screaming, cursing, lying, and threatening (there's so much more but those are the prime examples) to get what they want. Tell me, are they right? Should they really be allowed to do that? Should the employee that was unlucky enough to be helping them have to put up with that kind of treatment without so much as a peep by way of self-defense? They shouldn't, but they do because "the customer is always right." Managers are trained to do whatever they can to ensure a happy customer, and the customers know it. "I wanna talk to a manger!", "Go get me a manager!", "Where's your manager?!" are all commonly heard, and most without a "please" or "thank you".

Most people take out their anger on the first person they see or the person that is (unfortunately) helping them. That's why I hated serving. No matter what the problem was (if the food was too cold, if it wasn't cooked right, if it wasn't even the dish they thought they ordered, if they didn't like it, blah, blah, blah...), it was all my fault and no one else's. It wasn't the cook's fault for misreading the ticket. It wasn't the food runner's fault for bringing the wrong tray of food to the table or for pulling the quesadilla with onions instead of the exact same one except without onions out of the window and traying it up with the rest of the food. It wasn't the hostesses fault for seating them too close to smoking or where it was "too loud". It was all my fault. Anything and everything the cutomers were unhappy about was all my fault and my tips would suffer because they weren't happy. Then comes the words all angry customers say "I want to speak with a manager", though usually not that nicely. Nowadays when I see people complaining (it doesn't even matter what they're complaining about really), I normally just think that they're trying to milk some free food out of an accident or something. Some people are just always trying to get something for free when they really don't deserve it.

I know how it looks when a guest complains about their experience, so when I go to a restaurant that I didn't enjoy, I don't ask to speak with a manager, I don't demand that the food be taken off my bill, I simply go online and write out an e-mail to that restaurant (usually long, detailed, and thorough) explaining why I will not be coming back. That way, their food costs are affected, it doesn't look like I'm scamming for food, and it will give the management some idea of how to fix problems (or who to fix) so that other customers don't have the same experience I had. I also happen to know that Corporate (if it's a chain restaurant) does not like to see e-mails such as mine about any of their restaurants. I don't look to get anyone fired, I don't wish termination on anyone because they maybe had one bad night, just ensure that it's not going to happen again to anyone else because anyone else might not be so nice.

Unfortunately, most customers don't handle things that way. If they did, so many more people would be happy and better off, I might even start serving again if that were to happen. But let's face it, as long as any store works by the "Customer Is Always Right" philosophy, customers are going to think they're right even if they are not. Customers *know* they're right and they are always going to fight, argue, threaten, lie, and cheat to get what they want (usually free stuff) and they aren't going to let anyone tell them otherwise.

For more examples of when customers aren't right, please visit: customerssuck.com and read thoroughly through whatever you like. Anybody in retail, grocery stores, etc. will get a total kick out of how true all of these stories are!

Servers Work For Tips, Not Pity

2005-06-11T00:25:00.000-04:00

Servers are usually only serving for some extra money or to pay the bills. Some people serve because they like it, others because they need to or their kids will go hungry. Usually the only people who know of this reality is people who work (or have worked) in a restaurant themselves. The average customer doesn't even think about this when they choose to hijack tables or sit where they want, they only think about themselves and how hungry they are. Granted, when you come into a restaurant you should be hungry, but not completely self-absorbed, I mean come on! You shouldn't be totally pigheaded to not realize that all the employees working are just like you and trying to earn a living. You don't know their history or background, you think maybe they're working at a restaurant because they dropped out of highschool or they didn't go to college. Did you ever stop to think that maybe they're working in a restaurant to pay their way through college?

Maybe someday we'll be like the rest of the world and pay our servers a real hourly rate and won't have to tip at all, but until that day, please keep in mind that your server is doing his/her best to keep you happy and make a decent living. Where I'm working now, servers are lucky to make $80 a night. Usually, a server's shift is about five or six hours long, more than that if they are a "double" or "volume". Now, you might be thinking that if a server makes $80 in six hours, that's more than ten dollars an hour which isn't so bad (it's slightly above minimum wage in Maryland), but you've also got to consider that six hours serving can feel like a lot longer. There's always running involved, there's always a customer or two who aren't totally happy, there's always something that goes wrong, there's always stress when it comes to serving. Mostly, servers make around $2.38 an hour plus whatever tips they can get, and mostly, their paychecks are zero (or close to it) because taxes on their tips get taken out of their paychecks. On top of that, servers usually have to tip out at the end of the night, bussers, hostesses (in some places), bartenders, food runners, etc. So a server usually goes home with a fraction of what they received in tips total.

I hate hearing servers say "That table only left me 36 cents for a tip" because it bugs me how some people can be so ignorant and self-absorbed not to leave at least a 15% tip (which is unfortunately still optional). If your servce was "okay", then leave a 15% tip, if it was really horrible, that's when you leave a smaller tip, and it you had a wonderful experience, then by all means tip more than 15%. But come on, tips that aren't even a dollar are a joke and most servers want to just shove it back into the guest's face and say,
"Thanks but I don't need your pity, you obviously need that more than me".

Just something to keep in mind the next time you eat out...

Notible Customers - Part I

2005-06-06T22:00:00.001-04:00

These are true stories (about customers) that have happened while I have been in the restaurant, not from what I've heard from other people (although I would have to start a whole other blog for that)! This is only part one, I'm sure I'll have even more soon!

The Salmon Guy...

The Salmon Guy is, unfortunately, a regular at the restaurant where I work. Normally, regulars are the best source of revenue for a restaurant, but this guy takes the cake as far as regulars go. He comes in every week, on Tuesdays, and orders the salmon and his usual soft drink, is very specific about his food, hardly cracks a smile, and then tips the server a dollar ($1!), no matter how much s/he bends over backwards for him. One week, he complained about how loud the music was; I hadn’t particularly noticed, but that could be due to the fact that I hear it all during my shift and tune it out. The next week, I had the distinct pleasure of seating him, and though I managed to see a smile attempt to spread across his face when I asked if he had a good weekend, he still made a crack about forgetting to bring his earplugs when he “comes to this restaurant” and asked me why we kept it so loud. All the servers hate waiting on this guy and usually trick the new servers into taking care of him. That only works once though...

*Edit August 2005* Salmon Guy has been seen, by me and other hostesses, as leaving the restaurant with earplugs in his ears. No folks, he wasn't kidding when he said he forgot them that week, he really has earplugs that he wears! We all wonder about him and why he comes into our restuarant so much if he doesn't like it. He seems not to like it anyway. He never smiles, doesn't tip well, orders the same exact thing every time (and is very specific about it), and doesn't like the atmosphere. Why doesn't he just get carry-out if the food is all he likes?

The NA Party...

The NA party always comes in on Sunday nights, usually around the same time every week. The number of people always varies, and it usually ends up being more than they tell us anyway. On top of that, they always seat themselves and take over any tables they want, even though most of them know better! This bugs the hostesses because if they take active tables, then that’s that many less tables that the hostesses have open to seat other customers. It bugs the servers because that’s that many tables the server waiting on them will have to clean, especially if out of the server’s section. The NA party looks like a bunch of redneck motorcyclists and they act like it too! They have no problem sitting themselves at a dirty table before giving anyone a chance to clean it, they have no problem remaining seated while someone is cleaning it, and they have no problem just sitting there and watching, not doing anything to help. The NA party is the one I mentioned in the previous post "Customers Do Not Own The Restaurant", they were the "A Party of 8, No 12, No 15, No 20...It'll Be 22..." party.

The Two Guys...

There are two guy friends that are always coming into our restaurant, either together or with wives/girlfriends/whatever, and they are the kind of customers every server dreams of waiting on! At least, as far as I know. They are the kind of customers I like taking care of as a hostess. They are so patient and understanding, it doesn’t matter where we seat them (some people don’t like sitting close to smoking, which I can understand) or whether they have a booth or not. One of the guys came in by himself one night and his server didn’t know he had been sitting at his/her table until he came up to me and said something! He had been waiting five or ten minutes just for a greeting from his server and he was totally laid back and cool about it! I did find his server though and whoever it was took care of him and he, presumably, enjoyed the rest of his meal. Another night, we were on a bit of a wait, and they waited patiently in our little foyer thingy chatting away with the hostess that had been posted out there to open the door. She enjoyed them so much that she didn’t mind staying out there longer than she had to (we usually take half-hour shifts).

Water Shirt Lady...

Every server, at some point, spills drinks on or near his/her customers. It just comes with the territory and it’s something that bound to happen sooner or later, especially with new-to-the-job servers. However, there was this one lady recently who just totally blew the entire thing out of proportion just to get a free meal. This server did spill a couple of drinks when she got to the table she was delivering them to, but from what I saw and heard, most of the soda ended up on the floor and some ended up on the table. Two, maybe three, tiny drops had bounced off the table and landed on this woman’s blouse, no big deal right? Wrong. She went into the bathroom to “clean” them off, and next comes up to the hostess desk with huge water spots on her blouse demanding to speak to a manger! Naturally, we asked where she was sitting and promised to send a manger right over while one of the hostesses went to search for one. The manager talked to this woman for several minutes and then left them. We found out later that this woman had gotten a free meal for messing up her own shirt in the bathroom and blowing a few drops of soda out of proportion. The server was not happy at all for the rest of the shift because this woman had been rude for the rest of her stay (and rude is apparently not a strong enough word).

“Can We Have A Big Booth?”...

When the restaurant is on a wait, most people don’t care where they sit. The ones who really care generally tell the hostesses ahead of time that they would prefer a table or a booth (or far away from smoking if your state hasn’t completely outlawed smoking indoors yet), and others just assume we’re all telepathic. There this one couple recently who came in while I was working the wait list. They gave me their name, number in their party (two of them), booth, and non-smoking right off even before I could tell them how long the wait was. I said that it might be a little bit longer for a booth (just a precaution I take that covers my butt, but I can usually garauntee a booth for them if I just tell them it might be a longer wait), but that I could definitely get them one. You would think that would satisfy them, but it didn’t. When their turn came up (within the quote I had given them thank-you-very-much) and one of my runners sat them down, in a booth, they asked her if they could have “that big booth” and pointed to a clean six-top. Thankfully, we had already assigned that booth to a party of six and my runner knew that and politely told the couple that it was for a larger party that wouldn’t fit into a smaller booth. That, thankfully again, was the end of it from that couple. People really bug me sometimes! Here we are, a relatively small restaurant, on a 30-40 minute wait, and two people, who know there are other people waiting, want to sit in a booth that can accomodate six people! Yeah, like I’m going to stick two people in there and make six people wait longer just because the two people wanted it. Do your math people! Six people who want the big booth out number the two people who want it by four! There ain’t no way that couple was getting that table unless they sat themselves there, which is too hard to get away with on a busy night because all the hostesses know what’s open, what’s about to be open, and what’s not.

Rude Customers Make Me Hate My Job

2005-06-02T00:45:00.000-04:00

I'll begin this post with an example of something that happened quite recently.

I was hostessing one night with two other hostesses and this woman comes in and says that she has five people. One of us, I don't remember who, asks if she would mind having a chair at the end of a table because we were out of the six-top booths.
"To get bumped around? No. We'll wait." Came her reply in a snappy tone.
Okay then. One of the other hostesses got her name and wrote it down on the waitlist while I went to check on the six-tops to see if any of them would be getting up soon. Much to my dismay, and this woman's annoyance I'm sure, all the six-tops had food and only two of them looked as it they might be getting up sometime soon. I went back to the desk and told her that it was probably going to be around 20 to 30 minutes for a larger booth, and that was accounting for any chit-chat time that the tables might have after they finished eating. The woman didn't say anything to me, unless it was "fine", but she had an annoyed "whatever" look on her face.

About ten minutes into her wait, one of the servers (one of my favorites, she's such a sweetheart) asked the woman if she was waiting for anything (she was the only one waiting, mind you, we still had smaller tables open that we were seating).
"Yeah, a table." Came the retort, rather loudly.
I guess she wanted me to hear her and do something about it right then because she was being so cleaver.
The server came over to me and asked if I had a table for this woman.
"As soon as a six-top gets up and bussed it's hers." I said.
During all of this time, her kids are running all over the place looking at the different games we have to play. Once or twice they came over to ask her a question or say something to her, and she was short with them as well. I had the strong feeling that the kids were the reason she was mad now.

Another five minutes or so later, she comes up to me and demands to know if these (four six-tops along the wall to the right of the hostess desk) were all the big booths we had.
"No ma'am." I said, and pointed along the wall perpendicular to that. "We have three along that back wall there."
"Oh." She puffed under her breath, and sat back down.
Finally, she gets tired of seeing other people getting sat before her, and probably of waiting too, and says to me, very loudly without even getting up off the bench she was sitting on, "We'll take anything."
"Okay ma'am." I say, and I gather up five menus, including some crayons for the kids, five rolls of silverware and I set up a booth for them, complete with a chair at the end.
"You're table's all ready." I said and she finally got up.

When I got to their table and her kids started piling in, she must have lost it.
"This is rediculous!" She cried in an angry tone. "Next time you should tell someone that you just sat all the six-tops so we could have gone somewhere else!"
"I'm sorry ma'am, but what the hell did you think you were waiting for? Did you think I made you wait for my own personal amusement? Do you think that I wanted to have you yell at me? Do you think that just because I work at a restaurant, it gives you the right to treat me like crap? Do you think you really know better than me how the seating in a restaurant works? Did you think I was going to tell other customers to get up just because you didn't want to wait for 20 minutes? Do you think that I actually have any control over when people get up? Would you like it if I came up to your table while you were eating and said, 'I'm sorry, but I have a really impatient customer, you need to get up now so I can seat her at your table.'? I've been hostessing for almost two years, I know what the hell I'm doing and customers like you make my job more stressful than it needs to be. Customers like you make me want to walk out right now because I do not have to put up with your crap, not for the less-than-minimum-wage paycheck I get. Do you think I'm working here by choice? Do you think this is really what I want to be doing, dealing with customers like you? I have got car insurance, phone bills, and now college bills to pay for, I am here because I need to be, not because I enjoy it. Aw, boo-hoo, you had to wait for 20 mintues, that's your own damn fault lady. We offered you a solution that could have had you eating your dinner by now, but you didn't want to take it so shut the hell up. This is your own fault, not mine. Next time you want to say something to me in a nasty tone, you can do it when I'm off the clock and I can start cussing your ass out."
That was what I wanted to say.
"I'm sorry ma'am." Was all I said, because I knew better than to say what I was thinking.

One of these days, I hope somebody opens their own restaurant where, under circumstances such as this, employees are allowed to answer back to the customers and defend themselves. I would have soooo loved to chew this lady out, but because I was on the clock and value my job, I didn't, but I would have loved to. I wouldn't have cussed in front the kids, but I've been using cuss-alternatives for years and only cuss when I get really mad, so it wouldn't have been too hard to leave the cusses out. Some day though, I am going to open my own restaurant and employees can defend themselves to customers who are being especially difficult and smartassy (as long as someone else can confirm that the guest was truely being ignorant). So many customers are so difficult and they need to be told, but no one is allowed to tell them because "The Customer Is Always Right".

The thing with rude customers is that, no matter what, they don't realize how rude they're being and that they might not actually be right, they just think they are. Employees are not allowed to retaliate or defend themselves in any way or it will be their job. I think people are especially rude to employees of businesses because they know that the employees aren't going to do anything about it if they value their job. Just because someone cannot defend themselves, does not, in any way, give anyone leave to be rude. Employees are people just like you and me, and no one appriciates someone being rude to them. Nobody likes it and there are better ways to get your point across, or whatever it is you want, than being rude to employees.

I can see how it might be at a restaurant because people are generally hungry when they come into restaurants, and hungry people tend to be a little grouchier than they would normally be. After all, you're paying for this, possibly over-priced, meal, and you want it to come out exactly like you ordered it. But, please understand that mistakes happen, it's not anything personal against you. Someones, restaurant employees being human like everyone else, people just make a mistake. No one means for it to happen, it just does. Maybe a plate of food gets pushed aside and isn't noticed until the guest notices something is missing. Maybe one of the cooks is having a bad day and without even thinking, just automatically makes your dinner with the one thing that you asked them not to put in. Maybe your server is new to the job and still isn't quite sure what she's doing yet. Maybe the problem is you, the guest, and you are blaming someone other than yourself. Maybe you think that the restaurant does something "all wrong" and they should change it, and you vocalize this opinion, loudly. Yeah, please don't do that. Maybe you're criticizing your server for doing something that s/he has been trained to do because it's his/her job. Whatever went wrong, keep in mind that there is probably not just one factor in the mistake and it's nothing personal against you. The restaurant industry is not out to get you and they don't mess up your orders (even though the orders are ridiculously complicated sometimes) on purpose for their own sick humor.

One rude customer can totally ruin the rest of the shift for some people; potentially making even more customers unhappy with their experience than they normally would have been. I know some employees who just take it all personally again them when a customer is being rude that the rest of their day is ruined and they are "down in the dumps" for the rest of the shift. Do you know what it's like to work with upset people? For those of you that don't, it doesn't make anything any easier. If you do know what it's like, why would you cause that on purpose? To make someone else miserable because you are? That's not the way to do things, you will not get very far in life with that attitude and you most definitely will not enjoy it.

Bottom line: treat others as you would like to be treated. Restaurant employees are people just like you who haven't done anything to deserve your disrespect and rudeness.

Customers Do NOT Own The Restuarant

2005-06-02T00:23:00.000-04:00

Just because you are paying for your food and paying a lot of the server's salary, does not mean that you own the restaurant; it does not mean that you can do whatever you want.

A Few Examples:

It'll Be 30 of Us, We Have Reservations
One night, a Saturday night, I was working the board, and we had only a few tables left open to seat, and a woman walks in.
"How many will it be tonight?" I ask, thinking it would only be a few.
"I'm not sure." She said.
That always worries me. I hate hearing, "I don't know" or "Oh, gee, I don't know, lemme count" or "We're about to find out" because it usually always means a large party who think that they own the restaurant and pay my salary.
"I think we have 30." She said. "We have reservations."
Now, we don't take reservations, with the exception of very large parties and managers take those reservations, not the hostesses.
"Let me grab a manager for you." I said and hurried off to hunt down a manager.
I soon found one and asked him if he knew anything about a party of 30. He didn't. Figures doesn't it? But, he went to go ask the other manager if he knew anything about that party of 30. I went back up to the front to tell the guy that seemed to be in charge that the manager was on his way up. The hostesses told me later that the guy had been yelling at them about not having something ready for his party.

I'm sorry, if you don't know how the restaurant is run, and who is privilege to what information, then you have no right to tell any employee in that restaurant how to do their job or how not to do their job. He had absolutely no right to be angry at the hostesses because it's not their fault that they didn't know about his party. It's not their fault that they didn't call ahead to make sure that we had a place set up for them, it's not their fault that whatever manager had taken their reservations neglected to tell anyone else about the party, and it's not their fault that the restaurant was busy and full on a Saturday night with no place to accomodate such a large party for a long while! Luckily, the manager was right behind me as I was coming up front, and took care of the situation before the guests got any worse. The bar was pretty dead that night, for some reason, and the party was contented (with some free appitizers provided by the manager as an apology) to sit and stay in there for the duration of their meal.

In this instance, it would have been better had the party called ahead, maybe an hour before arriving, to make sure that we had had set aside tables for them. Like I said before, we don't normally take reservations, so whatever normal process involved in checking reservations for the day is bypassed at our restaurant. I don't even know quite how regular reservations work exactly, the restaurant's side of it (I know how to make reservations, you just call and give your name, ETA and number of people in your party) anyway. I've never worked at a restaurant that took them.

A Party of 8, No 12, No 15, No 20...It'll Be 22...
It was a Sunday night, I went in to eat at the restaurant I work at, and I got mad at some customers that came in. From what I was told, the first couple of people that came in told the hostesses that it was going to be 8 people. That 8 soon turned into 12, that 12 then turned into 15 which turned into 20; the final count became 22 after they stopped straggling in. From where I was sitting, I watched as about 12 people walked passed the hostesses and sat themselves in a section of tables that was closed and had already been cleaned for the night. They didn't even wait for the hostess to give them menus or even for one of the tables to be cleaned off! They just walked over and sat wherever they felt like. And they do this every week! Over the next half an hour to forty-five minutes, more and more people just added themselves to the party, taking over any tables that they could to accomodate their large party. The hostesses were so entirely pissed with this party, I think had they not valued their jobs they would have told this party off!

Just because you bring in a couple hundred dollars to the restaurant every week, does not give you the right to just do as you choose and seat yourself where you wish. Like I said in a previous post, the hostesses are there for a reason and if you don't listen to them, if you seat yourself, you mess everything up and you piss people off. Another thing, if you've got a party, do the restaurant and the hostesses a favor, get the exact number of people in your party. If there is even the slightest possibility that someone else might come, count them when you're counting heads. The difference between a party of 8 and a party of 22 is quite a bit to smaller restaurants. While they don't want to loose the business of such large parties, it is very hard to accomodate them because of limited space. It is even harder when the party walks around and sits wherever they want, without even bothering to wait for the hostess to give them menus. When you go to a restaurant, just because you are spending money out of your pocket, does not mean that you've become an owner of that restaurant. If you did, you would be doing a lot more for that restaurant than just eating there, believe me. I'm not even a manager and I come in on my off days to fix things!

You are still out in public when you come to a restuarant, just think of it as eating at your friends house for dinner; behave in a restaurant as you would at a friend's or aquaintence's. You wouldn't let your kid throw handfulls of food on the floor of your friend's house, would you? I hope not. So don't let your kid do it at a restaurant. When you enter a restaurant, the only rights you have are to use the bathroom, order food, sit down, shut up and eat what you ordered how you ordered it, pay your bill, and leave. That's it. You don't have the right to make a mess in the bathroom and not clean up after yourself because after all, "They pay people to clean up after me". You don't have the right to sit wherever you frickin' want, you don't have any right or excuse to be rude to employees (unless they were rude first, but generally they aren't the ones who start it...), and you don't have the right to make it as hard as possible for the employees to please you.

Party of 40 at 6:00
Luckily, the managers remembered to let the hostesses (and other managers) know about this party. We had it planned down to a "t" where they were going to sit, there were even two extra spaces in one of the larger booths so they could spread out a little bit. The first guy came in around 5 and had a drink at the bar. When I had set up all the tables, I showed him which 8 booths were his (the party's) and how there were going to be two different servers, so it would be easier if they sat according to how they wanted the checks to come out. The rest of the party started arriving at 6, like they said they would, and everything seemed to be going well. Then, the other hostesses and I noticed something. Four members of the party had decided to sit at one of the adjacent booths, a booth that was not in their designated section of booths. No biggie right? It's just one extra table, that's no problem. Yeah, but not when two other members of the party hijack another booth, one big enough to fit six people and they are the only two sitting at it.

So they were taking up two extra tables when they could have been taking up only one extra table. On top of that, I did the math, for them to have two people at an extra six-top and four at an extra four-top, that is eight extra people. They had almost 50 people come in when they told us it was going to be 40. Unless there were tables with one extra seat that someone decided they didn't want to sit in so they hijack another table. The kids (it was a whole soccer team with parents) were always up and running around and the parents were mingling with each other at the different tables, it was hard to tell who went where. But still, even if there were tables with an extra seat or two, there were still more people there than they told us were coming, and with a party that size, that's not a very nice thing to do. You might think, "Oh, two extra tables, that's not a big deal", well, maybe not to you. But if you think about it, two servers are one table less than they were before, they aren't going to make as much money as they would have had that booth been open because, keep in mind, most people will ask for a booth if you give them a choice.

"It never ceases to amaze me how some people have a blinding sense of entitlement to the point they refuse to acknowledge anybody else!" Is a quote that I read on customerssuck.com and I thought it was well worded. I just wish that less people were so wrapped up in themselves to stop and think about how their actions affect other people for once. Do you know how rare that is in the restaurant industry among our guests? I've been working in restaurants since I was sixteen (I'm nineteen now) and I don't see it much, usually only in other restaurant employees. Just please, when you go out in public and will be dealing with other people, be more considerate and try not to think just of yourself, you might find yourself a happier person.

With Large Parties...

2005-05-26T01:20:00.000-04:00

I'll define large parties as a party of 8 or more. If the server can add gratuity to your check due to the number of people you have, you're a large party.

Large parties are generally harder to seat, especially in small, one-dinningroom restaurants. Usually, more than one table is required to accommodate large parties, which can be inconveniante during busy nights like weekends. It is especially bothersome to the hostesses when you simply walk in with your large party during a busy time without have called ahead to warn them.

Two weeks in a row, on a Friday or Saturday night, around 8 (which is usually the middle of the wait), a party of 20 or 25 came in and wanted to know how long it would be. *Deep, calming breath* Now, already the wait is about a half an hour for regular sized parties (anywhere from 1-7 people) waiting for one table each, a party of 20 or 25 requires between 4 to 6 tables depending on what combination of the different sizes used (for example, 2 six tops and 2 four tops will hold 20, or you could do 5 four tops, or for the 25 you could do 3 six tops or 2 six tops and 3 four tops, etc.). I didn't even have to look at the rest of the dinningroom to make a quote for parties that size.
"It's going to be at least an hour." I said.
And this happened two weeks in a row! I doubt it was the same party though, although people in my area seem to be dumb enough to make that mistake twice. The first week, the party had sent two people ahead to either put a name on the list or get a table for the rest of them. After I told these two people how long it was going to be, at the least, they went out into our little entryway and talked to the rest of their party on a cell phone. I came so close to going out there and saying to them, "Look folks, I know you're not going to stay here, and I don't blame you a bit, but wherever you do choose to go, call ahead first because you are going to get the same wait, or longer, that I just gave you with a party that size and no warning."

The second week this happened, I believe it was a birthday party and it was a bunch of teenagers that must have just decided on a whim, "Hey, it's Saturday night, let's all go out and eat", giving little thought to the size of their party and thinking that our restaurant would have been able to seat them right away. I don't know about other restaurants, but we always have five or six tables that we keep open for large parties who come in on impulse and give us no warning whatsoever. Not.

What do I mean by warning? I mean call ahead and tell the restaurant that you're coming! Especially with parties in the double digits, calling ahead on a busy night does a lot of good. Some restaurants will even take advanced reservations for large parties (like 20 or 25). If you call even the day before and say, "Hey, I've got a party of 15 and we'll be coming in around 7 o'clock tomorrow" that's great! Now the hostesses know that a larger party is coming in and they'll be able to do their best to have something set up when you get there. Isn't that better for everyone? You get to eat with ALL of your friends or family at your favorite restaurant and the hostesses can prepare and don't have to deal with 15 angry and hungry people. Not all places take reservations, but that does not mean that warnings are not appreciated or welcomed! If the hostesses know large parties are coming in, it's less crap they have to catch about the wait being too long, the restaurant makes lots of money, and everybody's happy.

Hostesses Are There For A Reason

2005-05-25T23:23:00.000-04:00

A server who is "sat" frequently, or even "double sat" (two tables at once, oh no!), is less likely to deliver the same quality of service as a server who is sat steadily with plenty of time in between each table. The kitchen can get backed up if the hostesses seat one table after another, over and over again. Eventually, the dishwasher will have to clean the great rush of dishes and will quite possibly become backed up as well. Bussers will stand around for a half an hour with nothing to do, then, all of a sudden, all the tables get up at once and they are overwhelmed with dirty tables they need to clean. Bartenders are running their own little restaurant off in the bar, but they do have to make drinks for those sitting in the restaurant who order them. Margaritas, beers, martini's, pinia coladas, etc., all need to be made in the bar. Usually, bars are seat-yourself and the hostesses have nothing to do with the seating, so there is no regulation of tables coming in and out. Each position in a restaurant is somehow connected to every other position whether in action, lack of action, or interaction. It cannot be stressed enough as to how important teamwork is in a restaurant.

Many people know that the purpose of a hostess is to take them to their table, but I doubt many actually know why hostesses go to certain tables. I doubt many people know why it seems the hostess sat them right next to the only other guests in the entire restaurant. But that's why I'm here, right? To explain this mystery...

Each server, generally, has what is called a "section". A section is the same, set, number of tables that the server will wait on for the duration of the shift. Not difficult to understand? Good, I'll keep going. A "rotation" is basically a list of all the servers that are on the clock and serving tables, starting with who came in first and ending with the last to come in. Still following? Great. Many, many times, more likely than not actually, the servers who come in at the sime time (or close to it) have sections that are right next to each other. For example, the first four servers to come on the clock (let's say around 3) have the left side of the restaurant divided up between them. The servers who come in later, say around 5, have the right side of the restaurant divided up between them. The hostesses will seat guests in the sections that have servers on the clock so the guests will be served. There is always, however, one or two people who will like the look of a closed section better than where the hostess takes them (usually a booth or something similar). In this case, the hostess should let them sit at their table of preference and find a server to serve them because, as you may remember, the section the guests are now sitting does not have a server on the clock and ready to go. Most people don't know that there is a reason for the hostesses sitting them at the table that she did, but now you know. The rotation allows for each server to have a turn at getting "sat" and it gives (usually) enough time in between tables for servers to keep from getting "weeded".

Another one of the several things that bug me when guests do it, is when they seat themselves. Now come on people! You don't take your own orders, you don't cook your own food, you don't carry your own food out to your table, and you certain don't clean up after yourselves (although I think sometimes people need to be forced to so they wouldn't make such a mess in public...another time, sorry!), so DON'T SEAT YOURSELVES IF A HOSTESS IS EMPLOYED. Seating you is what they get paid for! Trust me, it's enough to make a hostess feel invisible and useless if a guest is the one leading the way to a table (unless it's a seat-yourself section like most bars).

Two older ladies came in once while I was working and they barely said two words to me. Now, I'm a friendly person, and I like to talk to my guests, it makes their experience better and it makes me enjoy my job that much more. These two ladies, whether they meant to or not, showed very little respect to me. I don't ask for much from people, just that they let me do my job. They came in (on the wrong side so I couldn't get to the door in time to open it for them) and I asked if it would be just the two of them, for smoking or non, etc. Only the one lady answered me, and in such a low tone that I could barely hear. The other lady, when she saw that I was getting two menus for them, turned around and headed off to her table of choice, with me trying to keep up. I was, of course, smiling and friendly, though in my mind I was furious because it really does tick me off when people think that they can just ignore me and sit wherever they please. "I'm not a decoration!" I'm always repeating when I vent about people who seat themselves. "I don't just stand here because it looks good, I actually have a job to do!' Not only did these ladies seat themselves, they sat themselves at a six-top table (and believe me there were plenty of other open, smaller tables available, it was just after the restaurant opened that they came in), and then, about ten or fifteen minutes later, they decided that they didn't like that table and helped themselves to another, six top, table.

Not only does it help the employees to let the hostess seat you, it benefits you as well. Suppose that a guest comes in through a side door of the restaurant and spots a booth he likes the look of and sits down. Well, if the restaurant just opened, that section might have a server who is not even at the restaurant yet. Because he came in the side door, the hostess probably did not notice that he came in and sat himself, so because she doesn't know he's even there, she doesn't go find a server who is on the clock to go take care of him. He'll probably wait five or ten minutes or so before coming up to the hostess and asking where his server is because he's been waiting ten minutes and nobody has even said hi! The hostess will probably be surprised and wonder where he came from (not aloud if she's smart), but she'll ask him where he's sitting and promise to go get a server after he points out his ill-gotten booth. Now, the guest is already not very happy because he had to wait ten minutes before someone came to get a drink order, the hostess isn't happy because the servers might be yelling at her (because they always seem to think they know better than the hostesses) for either sitting someone in a closed section or for letting the guy slip by and sit himself, and the server who will wait on him isn't going to be happy because he's not happy and they know a not-so-good tip is probably coming. Even the manager might not end up happy because now he has to go talk to this not-very-happy guest who's trying to get a free meal out of the whole thing.

Doesn't that seem a bit unreasonable to you? The guest seats himself where he pleases, which causes servers to yell at the hostess, the hostess to get angry, the manager has to buy the guests food because he's not happy, and the guest gets a free meal for all the trouble he's caused. Oh! And can any of the employees tell him what he's done? No. Can the employees ask him never to do it again? They can ask as nicely as possible, though not usually, but that doesn't mean he'll actually listen next time. Heck, he just got a free meal for it, why whouldn't he do it again? Don't you just want to smack some people?

Hostesses also run the waitlist. Imagine if you will, a restaurant without hostesses. At first, that might be great, you can sit wherever you want. If you want a booth, you can take a booth. If you want a table, you can take a table. If you don't like that table, you can just move to a booth that you'd rather have. Now, picture that hostess-less restaurant filling up. All the tables are full, but guests keep coming in the door. Now what? There's no one to tell them how long it will be before the next table gets up, there's no one to take the names of the people who are first in line. The more aggressive people will be better at getting tables than the non-aggressive, who will end up either waiting a long time or giving up and leaving (or even both). Wouldn't it just be easier, and more fair, if the restaurant would just hire somebody to assign tables to people?...

Oh, wait, yeah, they do! They're called THE HOSTESSES.

The Wait List - An Overview

2005-05-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

At a glance, one might think that the waitlist is a relatively simple thing to manage, and when I think about it, I guess it is. That does not mean, however, that it is without stress and frustration. Some hostesses are better than others at "running the board", those with more experience tend to have smoother shifts. Servers love having hostesses up front who know what they're doing, the kitchen loves it too, whether they'll admit to it or not. Hostesses are just one of many crucial parts that will make or break the shift, they are only one part that helps the restaurant as a whole run more smoothly. Nearly every part of the restaurant is affected by the hostesses choices at some point during the shift (See "Hostesses Are There For A Reason" for details).

Most people think, understandably, that when there are no tables left for people to sit at, you take the names of peole that come in, and when tables become available, you go down the list and everyone has their turn for an open table. Essentially, that's what the waitlist is, but there is more to it than that. Hostesses need to take into account the size of one's party. A party of two, for example, is more likely to be sat down before a party of six because of the different sized tables and when they become available. "Two tops" are more common tables than "six tops" because they are smaller and easier to put more than one together. Even if a party of six comes in before the party of two, if a "two top" gets up and is bussed before a "six top" opens up, the party of two will get sat first. While this may not seem fair to the party of six, it is unreasonable to make everyone behind the party of six wait longer because the party of six cannot yet be accomadated, especially if there are "two tops" open and ready to seat parties of two. In cases like this, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The object is to make as few people wait for as short a time as possible.

Another thing that the hostesses need to take in consideration, though not as often as party size, is where the guests are going to be most comfortable: a table or a booth. Most people prefer booths, I am one of them, and given the chance, most people would rather sit at a booth rather than a table. There are people who prefer tables over booths, whether it is their own personal comfort or their actual physical size hinders them from fitting into a booth. Generally, hostesses should ask a guest which they would prefer, but when a wait starts, usually the assumption is made that the guest will simply take whatever he or she can get. Generally, that's true. Some smart restaurant-goers, however, will notify the hostess when putting their name on the list that they do have a preference. Some not-so-smart restaurant-goers seem to assume that the hostesses will read their minds and automatically know what they want. Boy are they shocked when they reach a table and they would rather have a booth! Some people, if there is an open booth waiting to be sat, will ask, "Can't we sit over there?", and the hostess with either take them there if no previous plans were made for that booth, or reply that the booth is for someone who either requested a booth, or even a larger party. If you have been the latter before, please remember this: it is an inconveniance to you and the hostesses to move to another table because you have not specified your preferences. Please, please, please, if you really truely care about where you're going to be sitting, tell the hostesses when you put your name down. It will make it easier on everyone if your desires are known.

A typical waitlist (the physical pieces of paper) consists of many rows and columns. Usually, the columns are for things like the name of the party, the pager number, and the number of people. There are also columns for the time the guest puts the name in and the time the guest actually gets sat, as well as the "wait quote" (which is how long the hostess told you it was probably going to be). Some people try to complain about how long they've been waiting already, saying that they've been waiting a half an hour, when really it's only been about twenty minutes. I quoted a family once about 25-30 minute wait, to the husband. He either rounded down and told his wife it would be twenty minutes or he got the numbers mixed up or something. His wife came up about twenty minutes into the wait to ask how much longer it was going to be until they got sat. I told her how many names they still had ahead of theirs (I never estimate "how much longer" because there are too many variables and is rarely accurate to the guest's satisfaction) and she said, "So that twenty minute quote of yours isn't really right is it?"
I looked at her name again and looked at the column for "wait quote" and replied, "No mam, I quoted your husband 25-30 minutes."
"Well, he told me twenty." She sort of snapped.
(People get snappy when they're hungry and have to wait, imagine that. That's still no reason to throw manners out the window. Remember that please, restaurant employees catch so much crap because people are hungry and think that gives them a right to be rude.)
"I'm sorry mam, I told him about 25-30."
She was then done with me and went back over to her husband. And who says writing things down is a waste of time?
Whether she thought she might finagle her way into a table without waiting as much, or whether she honestly thought it would be twenty minutes, she was sat when it was her turn and within plenty of time of what I had told them.

I understand what it's like to be on a wait as a guest, I do go out to eat when I'm not working (although I do know the best hours to go when a restaurant is less likely to be ON a wait...), one of the several things that peeves me about guests is when they come up and ask how much longer it will be until it's their turn, more than once! Just about everyone wears a watch, usually when someone doesn't have a watch, they have a cell phone, if they don't have a cell phone, there's probably someone standing right next to them who does. What's my point? When you put your name on the list, see what time it is, remember how long the hostess tells you it's going to be, and then you don't have to ask "How much longer?". You can look at the time and do the math yourself and get the same better ballpark figure that the hostess will give you. Chances are, the hostess will look at your name, the time you checked in, the current time, and do the math in her head. Example, a party of two comes in at 7pm and are told it's going to be about 30 minutes. If one of the party comes up 17 minutes later and asks "How much longer", chances are, the hostess is going to see when they came in and say, "Around 13 mintues". If it's a long wait, and you ask more than once, you are only going to annoy the hostesses and you will not learn anything from them that you didn't already know.

Anything more I have to rable about concerning waitlists will have to continue in a Part II because this has quite frankly become far too long. I apologize, thank you for your patience if you read this far!

Call Ahead Seating and Reservations...There's a Difference

2005-05-25T02:19:00.000-04:00

Most restaurants offer either call ahead seating or reservations but did you know that there are distinct differences between the two?

Reservations:
I have not yet worked at a restaurant that takes reservations (with the exception of really big parties), but from my understand, there is a table waiting and ready for you at a certain time when you make a reservation. You always have to call ahead to make a reservation, otherwise you're usually out of luck.

Call Ahead Seating:
Different restaurants may do this differently, here is how I was taught. The restaurant I am currently at will only take names for CAS when the restaurant is on a wait. Bascially, no wait list, no way to do call ahead seating. We can't put your name on a list that doesn't exist! While people can get annoyed with this, for instance, if they call when they are on their way, and we are not a wait, we tell them so and do not take their names. However, by the time they reach the restaurant (and this happens frequently on busy nights), there are no tables left and the restaurant is now on a wait.

The second mistaken thought about call ahead seating is that if you call ahead, you will have a table waiting for you when you arrive, not true! That is reservatons. Call ahead seating simply puts your name on the wait list, just as if you had sent one person in your party ahead of the rest to put the name in to reduce the in-restaurant wait time. With larger parties, however, such as 8 or more, if an estimated arrival time is given, the hostesses (or hosts, where I am, there are only hostesses, so that is what I'll be using) will do their best to have something set up when you arrive, especially if more than one table is required. Nothing is ever garaunteed with call ahead seating either, unless you specify smoking or non-smoking (for the restaurants that still have smoking sections) or a table or a booth, usually those can be garaunteed.

I will have posts following this on how wait-lists work, etc. But right now, it's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm tired. Also, this post was merely to explain the difference between call ahead seating and reservations, because it would be a quick post. I hope it was insightful.